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My dad sacrificed everything to retire early — only to die before he could enjoy it. I’ll never recommend early retirement to anyone.
Story by insider@insider.com (Rebekah Sanderlin)
- Rebekah Sanderlin’s father lived frugally, saving money and working hard for decades.
- He retired at 50 but then lived in what Sanderlin calls a “monastic frugality prison” before dying at 58.
- Sanderlin has inherited some of her father’s frugal ways but feels that no one should retire early.
My father was always a thrifty guy, and he tried — mostly unsuccessfully — to pass that trait along to me and my siblings.
When I was 6 years old, he gave me a small lidded basket to save the money I earned from the tooth fairy and from doing chores. When my basket got full, he took a very disappointed me to the bank to put it all in a savings account. According to a story my parents loved to tell, I exclaimed: “But I’ve already saved it! Now it’s time to spend it!”
My dad lived a frugal lifestyle
Working hard and saving money, my three siblings and I were told, was the only pathway to real happiness, and my parents practiced what they preached. My dad worked for the same sausage company for nearly his entire life; he started working there at 15, sweeping the parking lot, and he stayed until he was in charge of all the plant’s operations by his early 30s.
When the company was sold and his location was shuttered, my father — by then divorced from my mother — moved six hours away to run the new location. He could more easily imagine himself starting over alone in a new town than starting over with a new company.
He visited my siblings and me every other weekend. He was a master of finding frugal ways to have fun and always generously gave his time and attention.
The author (in the red shirt) and her sister getting a piggyback ride from their father. © Courtesy of Rebekah Sanderlin
A typical Saturday would include lunch at Sam’s Club, where he encouraged us to eat all the free samples. Then we might take a stale loaf of bread to feed the ducks at the park or spend an entire afternoon riding the elevators in the buildings downtown. We went to air shows and free concerts and loaded up on cheap candy at the dollar store before taking our seats in a 99-cent movie theater
He couldn’t wait to retire and actually start living
My father had many penny-pinching ways. He price-shopped every purchase and always bought store-brand products, which, after decades in the food industry, he preached were of the same quality and even often made by the same manufacturers as name brands. He never bought a car new — only used — and he drove his cars until they no longer made financial sense.
When the headliner in one sagged so badly it blocked the rearview mirror, his solution was dozens of colorful thumbtacks pushed haphazardly into the ceiling of his sedan. I used to move them around while he drove, as if his car were a mobile Lite Brite.
It would’ve been a perfectly fine solution for a teenager, a college student, or someone struggling to make ends meet, but my father was the top boss at the largest employer in his town. He could’ve afforded a new — or at least newer — car, and he even would’ve been able to pay cash for it.
But his plan had always been to retire early. He couldn’t wait to wrap up his working life. To him, work was something you did until you could afford to quit and actually start living. Every paycheck got him closer to that goal.
The author and her father at her college graduation party. © Courtesy of Rebekah Sanderlin
His life became tiny
At age 45, he got laid off. He hadn’t planned to retire that early and tried to find another job, but after several years of searching — and a few short stints at jobs he hated — he looked at his accounts and realized he didn’t really have to work anymore. At 50, he could retire and have plenty of time to do whatever he wanted.
The problem was figuring out what he actually wanted to do with his time. Whole weeks would go by in which he didn’t do anything at all. He never developed the kinds of interests that can sustain people once they stop working.
Moreover, his retirement budget was so tight that he couldn’t afford to explore anything new; he once told me that all his monthly expenses, including housing, utilities, vehicle, and food, were just $900. Both his parents had lived into their 90s, and though he had quite a bit saved for retirement, he worried that his savings might not last his entire life.
He wouldn’t even go out to eat with my siblings and me because restaurants simply weren’t in his budget. We would have paid for him, of course, but he was too proud to let us do that. My father’s life became tiny — a monastic frugality prison.
Most critically, his budget left no room for health insurance. This was prior to the Affordable Care Act, and he found out that buying health insurance would have cost him more than $1,200 a month, an expense he felt he couldn’t justify. He reasoned that his health would most likely be fine until he was old enough for Medicare, but he was wrong.
The author and her father at a “Blue Hawaii”-themed party a few years before his death. C.J. Shelker, courtesy of Rebekah Sanderlin© C.J. Shelker, courtesy of Rebekah Sanderlin
A cancer diagnosis changed his money outlook
He lived that way for eight years, until January 2008. Though he had lost a lot of weight and complained of a sore throat for months, he refused to see a doctor because he was worried about the expense.
After my siblings and I persuaded him to see a family friend who was a doctor, we finally found out what was going on: At age 58 my father was found to have Stage 4 esophageal cancer and was told he had six months to live. When the reality of his diagnosis settled in, it also hit him that he would never get to spend the money he had been saving since he was 15.
One day, he wrote each of his children a check for $10,000, saying he wanted us to go shopping and buy ourselves something expensive, something he had never done for himself. He joked that he’d already saved the money and now it was our turn to spend it, laughing as he turned that old family story on its head.
By then he was too sick to go shopping with us, but we each showed off our purchases to him. I was pregnant at the time and bought myself an expensive designer diaper bag. I also bought a pair of real diamond earrings, and his eyes lit up as he watched me slide them into my ears.
It turned out that the same man who had thumbtacked up the headliner in his car really enjoyed being the kind of father who could buy his daughter diamond earrings and a designer diaper bag.
The author wearing the diamond studs her father bought for her, which she almost never takes out. © Christal Marshall, courtesy of Rebekah Sanderlin
He died not long after that, exactly six months after getting the cancer diagnosis.
I don’t think anyone should ever fully stop working
Nowadays, when I hear people say they want to retire early, I feel like I’m watching a teenager in a horror movie go alone into the basement. With all the ways that exist for people to engage with work and monetize their passions, I don’t think anyone should ever fully stop working, or at least doing things that bring them purpose.
Stop working a job you hate? Absolutely. Spend more time on pursuits that don’t pay very well, if at all? Hello, I’m a writer! Volunteer in your community or be a caregiver for family members or friends? Please, do that. But fully retire with no plan to engage in activities that provide a sense of purpose? I just don’t see how that is good for anyone.
I did inherit a few of my dad’s frugal ways, though. I always price-shop my purchases and fill my grocery cart with store-brand food. That old designer diaper bag now serves as my laptop bag, a reminder of everything I learned from my dad.
The diaper bag turned into a laptop bag. © Rebekah Sanderlin
And thanks to his lessons, I have a financial plan and solid savings. I plan to slow down as I age, but I don’t plan on retiring. I’ll write as long as I’m able, volunteer as long as I’m needed, and do it all wearing the diamond studs I got from my father.
Rebekah Sanderlin is a freelance journalist, copywriter, screenwriter, and marketing strategist.
If you retired early and would like to share your story, email Jane Zhang at janezhang@businessinsider.com.
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Ken of the world (anonymous chat.)
Uh, would you rather he died on the job?
Retirement age varies widely depending on profession, influenced by physical demands, job security, and financial incentives 1. Some careers encourage early retirement due to strenuous conditions, while others allow individuals to work well beyond traditional retirement ages 2 3 4 5.
Retirement is very personal and some should retire young and some should not. I love my job at 65 so I don’t see retirement coming for a while. No one can predict how long they will be able to work or how long they will live. My parents lived until their early 90s but that does not mean I will too. Retired at 56, after seeing my BILL pass before receiving a single SS check. I never lived to work like some, work was never anything more than a way to put food on the table.
Starting in my late twenties I put in place one immutable rule, put a part of every check into a retirement account and never, never, never borrow from that account.
Sometimes the put something away each week would sting, but I made sure my family never really did without. I worked all the overtime I could and picked up part time jobs to fund our extravagances.
Never take your eye off the ball!
I am with you… counting the months for retirement. Life wasn’t meant to be a slave of capitalism and corporations! Good to hear that there are people out there that are enjoying and doing well in retirement. I would like to retire in my mid 50’s but all I read is that early retirees feel no sense of purpose, wither and die because they have nothing to do. My job is a means to an end, a huge source of stress and I can’t imagine missing it. I think you just explained how I feel working. I at least try to be in a job I enjoy. I always have one lined up if I am leaving the one I am at.
But… you can still include such content by leaving out the Dot in the web-address–for example AARPorg and the reader has to figure it out. AI (artificial intelligence) won’t figure it out, mainly because the human mind is superior to AI.
‘Hope this helps.
There are many “retirees” who might go back to semi-retirement.
But see my other two comments in these discussion strings–one being a citing of that old axiom: “If you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day again in your life”.
My mentor & big bro’ Peter Jr. travelled the globe after his early retirement from the US Navy, going from enlisted to full Cmdr in charge of medical ops for the largest Naval base in our nation, Balboa in San Diego.
Then he enjoyed retirement fully, from all the positivity he accomplished, and still continued to spread world peace by bringing his persona to every continent including Antarctica. The bottom line is fulfillment is as unique as one’s fingerprints, and it’s up to us each to obtain it–preferably (arguably) while helping others.
there should be a lot of fulfillment in the challenge of facilitating the human healing process in some way–as with all medical personnel.
Most of the people I know who retired early have purpose, have interests, and have fun. Travel. Take classes just because they are interested in things. Learn how to do household maintenance; learn to cook. Volunteer at animal shelters, food kitchens, work with kids in need, Work in little theater. Do all kinds of things they didn’t have time to do when working 8 to 10 to 12 hours a day.
It is a CHOICE on how to live life in retirement.
Make a good one!
Retired at 60 and loving life! I’m 63 now. We’ve traveled 3x to Europe, 2x to the Caribbean, 1x to Hawaii, and go to Florida and Alabama for a walk at the beach most years, and I take an annual trip to Nashville. We have a sizable nest egg that we only take money out for trips or gifts for our kids. House was paid off many years ago by doubling up on payments.
We’ve each lost a sister, my bro in law has had cancer 4x, our daughter had major cancer at 24 (half her liver removed) and thyroid cancer. Just found out my husband’s fam has a genetic disease that causes lots of cancers often, probably why our daughter and bro in law have had so much. All families are being tested. Point is, none of us know how much time we have left and we want to enjoy life as much as we can, while still having a hefty retirement plan.
I retired in my 50’s but prior to retiring I had a part time job lined up for a couple days a week. I loved it.
Find something to give you purpose or you will get bored pretty fast.
I think that sense of purpose thing is propaganda to keep people working and not take SS. Just picking up the house daily takes hours, never mind “goals”. I think the story behind the story is that people have to feel like they MUST work or they will die early, that simply is not true. When reading through retiring early blogs, the writers never encourage people to sit around the house and do nothing. Literally nobody is saying that.
I retired a few years early. Took two years to relax and decompress. Eventually I started changing my life – relocated and got a terrible paying job that I absolutely love that supplements my Social Security. Started doing some real vacations. I will fully retire at some point but not quite yet. Nothing is guaranteed so make the best of whatever time you have. My wife asked me what I was going to do today, I said “nothing”. She said that’s what you did yesterday. I said I didn’t finish yesterday.
Those unfortunate enough to be catatonic will, indeed, sit all day and do nothing.
Unfortunately most retirees run out of money after a few years and can’t afford much more than a trip to a nearby store. That’s the face of most retirees
They mean that they aren’t telling people that want to do other things that they can’t do them because they have to sit around doing nothing, so acting as if they are is not a fair complaint against their advice. Of course it’s fine for people to sit around doing nothing if that’s what they want to do. The point is that they’re doing it because they want to, not because they have no other options.
Retirement is not a choice for most Americans. We’d all love to retire early but most of us can’t because of money. None of us can control life. We just need to live our fullest each day. Easy to say, hard to do. Why is this article suggesting that this man made the wrong choice and that is why he died early?
Usually because of the failure to plan is a plan to fail accordingly.
Problem is, most people nowadays do not understand the concept of saving money, or even investing. Start off easy with a CD at a bank. If your employer offers you a 401K, just start with the bare minimum to add to it. It may not seem that important in your 20s, 30s, 40s, but it will make a difference when you get close to your 60s. Also, don’t do things that cause more debt. Plan to have all bills paid off at least a couple years before retirement age. Keep in mind that many poor people end up wealthy by just watching what and how they spend and save.
sad but true. Not only don’t save but spend more than they make, pay a LOT in interest [and sometimes penalties to boot]. Take out loans to go to college [or for their kids’ college] and then complain “I am 70 and STILL paying my student loans off. It’s unfair.” Started saving at 21 & I “retired” around 58 and am as busy and as bored as I allow myself to be. My two sisters spent more than they made: one is homeless, the other working full time at 74. With three examples to follow, my niece is following her homeless mom’s example, despite everything I have done to try guiding and helping her. Massive student debt but went out and bought a $20K car at 27% interest AND ensnared her kid into co-signed the car loan, so the kid is headed down the same path. Sad and frustrating.
I don’t think that’s what she’s saying. I think she’s saying we never know what life is going to throw at us so sacrificing everything your entire life for a magical retirement that may not happen isn’t the way to live fully throughout your life. I think trying to find a middle ground between saving for retirement and living your life fully along the way is what she’s getting at. Retirement is a choice, but it takes commitment and discipline over a long period of time.
My Wife and I worked hard, saved a lot, and planned for retirement. She died at age 57 from cancer, I was 60 and decided to retire immediately. 12 years now and no regrets other than she passed without enjoying retirement. I didn’t really like my job and was happy to ditch it.
I worked in a dam factory, a job I hated every day. I worked 27 years in that hole, but got a pension and at 51 when it shut down took a pension and never looked back….69 now and so glad I did. As I tell others, NOW is the time to enjoy your life, when you get older you spend less, do less, travel less so your bills are less. The big financial houses spewing lies about keeping a 401k, moving it all to a roth. and forgetting everything about the bs 4% rule of withdrawal in retirement.
I just retired at 67 and wished I had retired sooner. You want to be able to enjoy life too before the aches and pains set in too much. My job paid well but was very stressful.
And the docs research does point to stress as health and even life threatening. Which is why when I can, I will also retire. Granted, stress can be controlled to a certain extent, but for me, just knowing that I don’t have to worry about being laid off, etc. would be a weight off my shoulders.
I’ve lived a frugal life, well not too frugal like the story I will said; now about to reach 60 years old, and saved a pretty good savings and being diagnosed with a kidney disease, I now can cash yearly a percentage of my retirement to go on trips overseas, and see the world, I realize I may no enjoy until I retire early. Next month I am going to South America, Business Class ticket made a reservation to a beautiful hotel, and to live 2 relaxed weeks and enjoy while I can
I noticed no one has mentioned insurance as well. Except VA retirees who are covered by the VA.
I’m 80. I retired at 51 for 4 years then retired again at 62. Glad I did. Not able to do some of the things I could do 30 years ago but still basically healthy and happy.
Gave up a lot of money but it worked out well. Success is not always about money but being happy. Money can’t buy happiness, but to an extent, the older you get the more you may need it. Money doesn’t make you wealthy understand=ing it does
I did the same thing! Retired @ 50 for 4 years and back to work. Though I’d only work a year to save up travel money, but Covid & the economy has me still working (58).
I do hope to retire next year @ 59, but certainly no older than 60. He did it wrong. He didn’t retire early; he was forced out before he hit his $ number. Didn’t have a transferable skill. I retired at 59 and my wife was 56. It’s great. We travel and have multiple hobbies.
It has been wonderful, 23 years retired and still having my best life. I live in Las Vegas and live in my art studio/auto customizing shop, 49 for me was just perfect, all I have is my SS and 1/5th of my pension. I get to be at concerts from the first day anyone, like stage crews get there, to the day no one is left, 300 concerts last year alone, plus every event at the Festival Grounds in Las Vegas. It’s so cool to be able to make things happen for yourself, with no pressure.
It seems like it is an all or nothing situation when trying to decide when to retire. This story is a good example of how valuable it would have been to hold a job that paid insurance but also allowed for free time. My experience was that work responsibilities kept increasing until retirement. There was no “medium ground”. Optimally, after 50 or so, work responsibilities should decrease as we should spend time focusing on our health.
I know that some people find work that they are truly passionate about. And they have minimal responsibilities outside of work. I’ve been reading articles about people who have worked into their 90’s. I guess that IF I would have no regrets dying on the job, that would be okay. Most people need to work until 65 if they value health insurance. I couldn’t imagine forgoing insurance, knowing what I know about healthcare in this country. But some may choose to make the gamble.
I’ve been responding to articles about this topic. Some real research on it would be very valuable.
I worked with a lady (Beth) who was getting close to retirement. She and her husband (Don), a farmer, had an RV and every February, they drove to Daytona for the beginning of the NASCAR season. Their dream was to follow the NASCAR circuit with the friends they had made. Right before she retired, Don was discovered dead sitting at the computer. Beth decided to retire, but, before she did, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Everything they had worked so hard for, and they were great people, was now GONE! Beth died from Alzheimer’s about 2 years later. What a gyp!! I think of them often, especially in February.
No one is guaranteed a long life.
Balance savings and living. Work with good fiduciary advisors. Your kids will never be young again. You can’t postpone life with them. Money cannot buy time. Have adventures and make memories. In the end, these are all you will have when someone passes.
I know that we are not guaranteed a long life. But these people were of the Greatest Generation who had lived through the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, and World War II, got married, worked, and did everything to achieve the ‘American Dream’. I know that life is not fair, but it should be fairer than this because I think of the CEO, the millionaires, the billionaires who do not care about anybody but themselves!!
I guess that retirement savings commercial that shows the old couple running, holding hands down a beach in Bermuda is a bit of a long shot. No one escapes death, unfortunately. As much as anyone hopes to live until they are X age, the truth is no one can ever predict the future. However, at least try to prepare as best as you can. May make the difference. Everyone should be able to retire but you have to plan. Things beyond your control will happen (s-happens) and you can’t plan for every detail in your life, how boring that would be. Make plans and retire but plan, plan and plan some more. Plan to do something instead of just not knowing what to do.
Best bumper sticker I have seen, “The harder I work the ‘LUCKIER’ I get”
There is no such thing as luck. You were prepared to take advantage of opportunities that came up. I am planning to retire at 55 but my husband and I have saved millions of dollars by investing and saving and having a very simple life. We travel a lot too,,, Even MORE of a case to retire early. Whether he worked or not, he would have been dead at 58. At least he was able to enjoy some of his retirement in his way and not work until he died. Actually… We don’t know how much he did and not having health insurance contributed to his death. I personally think that we should have universal health care and then it doesn’t become a factor in that decision.
When I was reading this I was wondering what was so terrible about driving a car with thumbtacks in the ceiling. I’ve got an ugly car too, but I couldn’t care less because it gets me from point A to point B. It seemed as if the moral of the story was to stop saving so much and instead go out and buy that ridiculously expensive diaper bag or the diamond earrings. I would much rather have the extra time he was able to enjoy rather than the ability to splurge on fancy goodies all along the way.
The father sounds like a hardworking, responsible person. He accepted the role of a man for his generation. He was humble and it would appear deeply loved his family, putting their needs ahead of his own. He lived within his means and prepared for the future. We don’t know because it isn’t told, but while it is sad that the father’s plans didn’t go as he’d have hoped, I get the sense he had no regrets. He would have lived much the same life even if he had known he would die of cancer young. I wish more men, more people, would be a bit more like this woman’s dad. I admire the image I have of him after reading this story.
Exactly….putting your family’s needs ahead of your own…a concept not well understood by the younger people today. To me this story just reinforces the idea to retire early if you want and can. You must save and plan for tomorrow and you also should enjoy life along the way.
There are too many stories like this where a person just keeps working towards the end result but never makes it there. We only get one go around on this planet so enjoy it. But 50 was probably a bit too early for this man.
And if he had taken a part time job to cover his health insurance, maybe he’d still be with us. I don’t need to work at this point and I’m caring for a sick husband, but I never shut the door on the idea that I may need to find a job. Put 10% into your retirement and don’t worry about retiring early. A lot of people don’t make it. It seems like everyone I’ve known that retired early, died early. You need to find a way to enjoy your life along the way.
I retired from the US Military at 40 with a decent pension (retired as a LTC) and waited till 70 to collect my full Social Security benefits. I have plenty of money, but I have continued to work and volunteer as I have all my life. I find it rewarding to do both. I work part-time and volunteer with a couple of nonprofits. I love the interaction, connection and the challenge of giving back all I can! I cannot imagine NOT doing any of that! I am also a glass artist, so my days, weeks and years are full! Oh, and I have also been married for 3 years. My husband fully retired 2.5 years ago and pretty much sits on the couch and scrolls through his phone. Very sad.
There is an old expression [paraphrased here] which may apply:
“Once you find a job that you love you’ll never work a day again in your life.”
The lines have blurred these days on what constitutes “work”–we can all consider these two scenarios, as evidence of the blurred lines:
= Is volunteering not work, even without a paycheck ?
= Is hugging a very sad & crying child in the classroom really work even if it is not in the job description of a caring Teacher ?
Hopefully there is fulfillment for any reader here.
In my case, hearing the genuinely positive (anonymous !) feedback from almost all of my thousands of students over many years as a Teacher & Prof was worth more than a much larger paycheck–if viewed 100 years from now. As long as you are not a burden on society because you didn’t save enough to pay your bills. And guess, prices go up, they do not stay the same. I’m a former smoker and have had breast cancer. Are you an actuary? If (formerly) smoking subtracts 15 years from your life, and I add that to my current age, then I’m elderly.
What’s so good about “living on the beach”?
I’d rather live in God’s Country, than “paradise”.
My brother died of esophageal cancer. It is one of the hardest to detect early and difficult to treat. The mortality rate is very high. I am glad he retired and got to have 7-8 years enjoying hobbies and family without the stress of work. Sadly, that’s one of my husband’s favorite hobbies, watching old episodes on MeTV. (But I get him out of his comfort zone often.) I never understood the idea that you cannot work and enjoy your life at the same time. There are enough hours in a week and vacation time to do this.
Plus, you don’t have to work full-time.
When you are a supervisor at many companies, there is nothing in your life resembling free time. I have known people who would work three days straight, go home a sleep a few hours and then work another three days. Most people think their work is their life.
It’s a part of life, if you read the Old Testament.
People in the Bible days lived long lives. They worked into their 100s.
They didn’t retire from work. My friend whom I loved very much, worked at one place for 44 years. She had over 1.5 million in her 401k. Plus savings accounts, she didn’t have kids, nor was she ever married. She decided to retire at 62, when she turned 62, she bought herself a Silverado, so she decided to continue to work to pay for her truck, 4 years later she decided to retire in June of 2022, but in November of 2021 she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, June of 2022, she passed away. Never got to enjoy her retirement or money or her home. She left her 2 sisters well off though. I miss that crazy women everyday.
Regardless of how long a person could or can live, being happy with the choices you make along the road is more important than money. For some, even if they only live 25 years, as long as they enjoyed life for that time is really what it should be about. No one is guaranteed to live long, be it from disease, natural disasters, war, etc.
There have been studies done. The longer you wait to retire the less life you will live. IE; if you retire at 50 you have 30 years left. If you retire at 60 you have 15 years left. If you retire at 70 you have 2 years left. Now these numbers aren’t exact but the study showed that the longer you wait the earlier you will die. This is of course barring major illnesses (like cancer). P.S. Yes, you need medical insurance.
And there have been studies that show no correlation between retirement age and mortality.
correlation <> causation
Those who retire at 50 generally are those who are very well off. They have exponentially less life stressors and the time and ability to take care of themselves. Compare that with the single parent who works 2 jobs to provide for their family. The stress is dangerous(deadly). The long hours are very hard on the person. They don’t have time for the daily gym visits or a yoga class. They also don’t end up with the ability to retire early. In other words it is not retiring early that generally allows people to live longer…. it’s all the things that generally correlate with the ability to retire early.
Tus statement is what was left after the garbage censorship at Microsoft got done with it. This is absolutely disgusting that you can no longer make the most innocuous and logical statement without the ridiculous censorship removing every word you state. I disagree. It is different for everyone. Sometimes working gives a person purpose. Some people have enough to do to retire early. But regardless, activity is important.
This is an odd article. It seems to place blame on working hard to retire early and enjoy life. Why people don’t enjoy life and die early?
The writer’s definition of “retire” seems to be sit on the couch and do nothing for the duration. I retired a little early (at 61 two years ago). Best thing I’ve ever done for my physical/mental health and overall well being. I have hobbies and do volunteer work, so plenty to do (on my own terms).
I think many of the life lessons your Dad taught you were spot on. There is nothing wrong with being a little frugal.
Yes some (including him) may have taken it too far but learning to save more and spend less on day-to-day expenses is not a bad thing.
I am also striving to retire early, at 62 hopefully. However I do believe to successfully retire early, apart from having a budget and a plan to meet it, you also need the following:
1. Enough resources to bridge the health insurance gap until Medicare kicks in. Nobody in their 60s should “take a chance” without health insurance. If that means taking part-time work or whatever to keep it then that should be done. If you can’t afford health insurance, you’re not ready to retire early.
2. A plan for spending your extra time, which includes being as active as you possibly can be. Volunteer work, clubs/organizations, inexpensive hobbies, and exercise plans can keep you busy.
Don’t just watch TV.
Great article, very moving.
I believe your Dad was a good father and a good guy.
I was very frugal during my working years, saved but did not have a poverty mentality. I retired at 55 with no debt. I no longer have to save and can easily spend more on luxuries but years of frugality can be hard to leave behind for some. Not necessarily a bad thing. My husband loved his job and was going to work until 65. He had a stroke at 56 within months of my retirement and was never able to work again. We lost our health insurance.
Thankfully I was able to afford that 1K a month for insurance. Never had any health issues in the 10 years to Medcare but wasn’t willing to gamble with my health. He has since had several smaller strokes, heart surgery, kidney cancer surgery and ongoing long Covid symptoms from 2020. Not the retirement we envisioned yet plan B is still pretty sweet. We take pleasure in what we can do at every opportunity and are thankful that the frugal years allow us to afford that without worry.
Cancer can affect anyone at any age.
Perhaps the father decided to retire early because he was aware of his diagnoses.
Honestly, I think retirement is somewhat overrated. I worked until age 70 to increase my SS benefit, and since then have worked part-time (3 mornings a week) at a non-stressful job and have no regrets. I’ve known too many people like my dad, who retired and then parked themselves in front of a TV for the rest of their lives. Not for me. But everybody’s needs and goals are different. Early retirement works for some.
Retire as soon as you are able to afford it and are financially able to retire when you are healthy and young enough to enjoy retirement, 40 years is enough working years
By her measure, she wanted her dad to work till his last breath. What a tragic way to go. What she saw as someone being cheap or not being able to afford going to a restaurant, IMO, is just someone being frugal and thinking, why waste money going to spend money on spaghetti or lasagna dinner when I can make it at home for 1/3rd the cost or less and get 5x-8x the portion. I just saw a menu at a local Italian restaurant, and they wanted $22 for lasagna entree for dinner… excluding tax or tip, so that’s going to push nearly $30 for one meal, no dessert, and with water.
Sorry for the loss of your father. Not sure why he felt 50 was when he wanted to leave the ‘race’, but to each their own. I walked away at 59, couldn’t be happier. And I didn’t live a super tight or extravagant lifestyle, just saved basically all along the way, usually about 8-10% when young and while the kid was little, a bit more as I could, and about 20% last 10-12 years before retiring. BEST advice I can give is to NOT retire with a lot of debt, pay off that house and the cars before!
My FIL died at 56…..Was retired for less than 30 days. I retired at 53, now 56. Life is short, no guarantees…..I wasn’t going to die while still working.
Unfortunate, but working too long, too much, especially at a stressful job/career you hate and not enjoying life also a killer, he could have continued to work and still end up sick, at least he did manage to get a few years in to enjoy life, OK so someone retired early and died, people die under 5, under 10, in their teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s. People die. Life is not about SS or retiring, it’s about living your best life while you can. Stop concerning yourself with retirement and thank God for each day you are here and make the most of it.
While frugality is sometimes a necessary short-term means to an end, I think aspiring to it as a lifestyle is a form of mental illness. I have a relative who has built her entire persona and life around frugality. The author’s description of it as a “monastic frugality prison” is spot on.
One person’s story is not everyone’s story. I too grew up in circumstances which caused me to be a frugal adult. In comparison, I shopped everything and used hand-me-down furniture for decades, and kitchen things I’d owned since age 18. I still use some flatware from my own childhood that once belonged to my mom. I’m not talking silver, I’m talking stainless we got from pasting Blue-Chip Stamps into books.
Retiring early is a privilege I earned for myself. I retired at 51 and now have more annual income as a retiree than I had when I was working. You don’t have to go to work to make money. I deny myself very little now, and while I still compare shops, it’s because I don’t mind SPENDING money, I just don’t want to WASTE money. Whether she approves of her dad’s choices is irrelevant. It was HIS life to live the way he saw fit. She can live as she pleases, but others can live as they choose as long as they aren’t hurting anyone.
Your father sounds like a great person. You learned a lot from him and told your story well. If your any where’s close to my age your father probably grew up during the depression. A lot of independent living lessons were taught the hard way to the “Greatest generation”. You should be proud of your heritage. Thank you.
This is more of a hindsight 20/20 anecdotal instance that does not really fully consider that he did not like work and was forced into early retirement or consider what his life would have been like if he spent all the money and then was forced into retirement and lived until 95. But if you can’t afford health insurance or preventative care to detect disease, you have no business calling yourself retired.
I really am not sure the writer understood her dad. I semi-retired at 64 and started to take my social security when Covid hit since I did not feel like I wanted to be taking all the New York City folks out to look at homes at the height of the virus. NY did not fare well. I finally retired fully at the beginning of 2023 when I passed on my business to a colleague and moved cross country to live near my daughter, and I can say I am the only one in my family to ever collect social security.
My dad died early, my mom at 60 from cancer, my sister at 39 from breast cancer and my brother at 56 from liver disease. I honor them by collecting something they paid into and never had the chance to collect. We have no guarantees that all the planning and dreaming about the day you are not responsible for a client, a boss, a colleague or a project. I had my own business from 2008-2023 and I was entirely responsible for keeping the lights on.
I loved being in charge of my own destiny, although I was ready at almost 67 to give it up. I love my new life, and I volunteer and live near my daughter and listen to her tell me about her day and her stress as a single person taking care of herself. I live frugally because I moved to an expensive area and like the writer’s father, I have been great at not wasting and saving for that rainy day.
When covid hit, I had money to take care of my business, and I did not take any money from the government. I just did not want to be beholden to the government. I made do and being able to live on less helped me out and kept my business afloat. I am glad her father got some time off before he died. My family never had that chance. She should be grateful he did.
I just retired at 58 and am bringing in about $100K in retirement. Working longer than you need to if you don’t just love it, is crazy. I’m already less stressed and enjoying myself. If you plan right, retiring early is a great way to enjoy life. I’ve truly never heard anyone on their deathbed say, “I wish I’d worked longer”.
I’m a frugal person. I love my frugality. It is a way of life. But I also like to enjoy myself. When I was in my 20s, I worked as much as I could. I’d work 50+ hours a week. Nowadays, I don’t do that anymore. I turn down extra work (read: extra income) because it’s not worth it. My plan is to retire early, but I know plans have a way of not going the way you expect them to, so I also have back-up plans.
For too many people retirement is an early death sentence. The change of lifestyle is too stressful.
To the author….kudos to your dad. He sounded happy. It’s too bad his health didn’t hold up. I can’t see where working up until his death would have made him or anyone else happier. Apparently, you and he had a different definition of “a sense of purpose”.
That’s the worst. The timing of retirement is so unpredictable. I had a coworker that was retired for only a few days before he passed. He retired much older than I would have, he quit at 68. I’m trying to retire early for this reason. You never know.
Balance, in all things.
And I already know what I will be doing in my retirement: the same things I do now in smaller amounts, but can do more of when I am retired. (examples: writing novels, playing music instruments, composing music, painting, playing computer games, gardening, tend the poultry, create a birdhouse or repair a small bridge over a stream)
I can imagine waking up at 7am when I am retired and then the sun goes down and I wonder where the day has gone and then I realize I did everything I wanted to that day.
This story says “retire early” tomorrow is not guaranteed. I know a lot of people that live a frugal life, and they love it, financial freedom gives you peace of mind. Your dad could have not lived a frugal life and still developed cancer and passed away at an early age.
I’m 85 and retired at 55. I have not regretted it for one second. I got to spend lots of time with Grandchildren. travel. hike, fish and do whatever suited me at the moment. Age and health has stopped that now but darn did I have fun. Someone asked me once how long it took me to adjust to retirement. My answer was somewhere between my desk and my car.
“Never recommend early retirement”
I think the author got this backwards, seeing how if he had been frugal enough to put a couple million in the bank, that would have yielded (4% rule) $80k a year for retirement forever.
The very day he hit the $2 million mark, he should have retired. This way he can live life on his terms.
The trick to early retirement is to get involved and proficient at the activities you enjoy LONG BEFORE RETIREMENT. Get active bicycle riding, fishing, skiing, golf, pickle ball, white water rafting, hiking, sailing, working in your yard, and hobbies in your garage or shop (not all of these). Don’t sit on your butt after work. Finding other married couples or married children who enjoy the same things long before you retire is a must. Activities that provide significant exercise like bicycling, hiking, and skiing are ideal. Make sure you have a variety of activities that allow you to keep entertained year around.
I retired 25 years ago and have never sat around bored. I have more than enough money but it doesn’t take that much money to keep active at a minimal cost.
Man that’s par for the course! My best friend’s dad was a dept. headed for a huge Bell affiliate and finally retired at 65. He spent the summer working on his house and they planned a trip to Europe the next year. He had a heart attack and never saw 66.
Thank you to like-minded people in the comments. I’m ready for early retirement too! I’m 32. We need to make early retirement at 40. Thank you for listening to my ted talk.
Depends on what you consider to be an “early retirement”. I would agree that 50 years old is a bit early, but if you can pull it off financially and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, go for it.
I retired three years ago at 62.5 after 51 years of gainful employment and a 45-year career in telecommunications / IT. I know at least a dozen people who have died before they could draw their first social security check or enjoy their first day of retirement. I knew that I wasn’t going to be a member of that club. I retired as soon as I hit the early withdrawal age.
Think about all the money that is given back to the government each year by those who have paid into the Social Security / Medicare system for decades, only to die before drawing their first retirement check. Uncle Sam is counting on this scenario to play out as much as possible.
By this logic, her father should have never retired. Me, I retired during my late 20’s -early 30’s and now plan to retire again next year at age 68.
I saw my parents die before they could enjoy their retirement, that is why I made sure to enjoy mine “early”.
My dad retired at 50 and was dead by 58 due to colon cancer. I just retired at 60 this past March and I am living my best life because my job has a pension and a supplement if I left before the age of 62. I also got a check from the military. Right now, I am living my best life not working. I have been working since I was 15. I used some of my 401k to do some upgrades to my house. My pension and VA benefits are the game changer. It is a shame that many jobs do not offer a pension. Social security was never meant to replace your income, just supplement what you have in saving.
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