My Mom the Miracle

Is Kathi Hahn, wife of W.V.U. assistant basketball coach Billy Hahn still alive?

Morgantown woman tells cancer survivor story on Today

December 5, 2013 – 3:42 pm

Kathi Hahn, wife of West Virginia University assistant basketball coach Billy Hahn, is a fighter. Twice she was diagnosed with cancer and twice she beat it. Her daughter, Ashley Calvary, eloquently detailed her mother’s story to producers of the Today Show who invited them to New York City to share the remarkable and inspirational story with the world.

“I feel terrific. Everything is wonderful and so many people helped,” said Kathi in a conversation on Thursday’s Today Show on NBC with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb.

Kathi was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in fall 2007. She endured two surgeries and chemotherapy, but by spring was in remission. To celebrate, the family went to South Carolina on vacation.

“Our vacation came to an abrupt halt one day when my mom called to me from across the beach house in a concerned voice,” Ashley wrote in her letter to Today. “When I walked into the bathroom I found my mom standing in a mirror examining a lump on her neck.”

Three visits to three different doctors resulted in a diagnosis of leukemia.

“She told everybody she was an overachiever,” Ashley wrote. “She told everybody she got leukemia so soon after the ovarian cancer so that she could get it over with and be done with it all.”

Survival depended on a bone marrow transplant, but none of her family was a match. Doctors at Ruby Memorial Hospital put Kathi on the International Bone Marrow Registry and eventually found what they were looking for.

“Nobody matched me so they put me on the international list,” Kathi said. “A woman in Germany was a 10 out of 10, a perfect match.”

“The lady (donor) said that her daughter told her, ‘Mom I’m so scared,’” Ashley explained. “She said, ‘You know what, I’m going to save someone else’s mom.’ And that’s exactly what she did.”

After a successful transplant Kathi fulfilled her dream to dance at her daughter’s wedding. “I think every single person there was in tears,” she said. “We had several people join us; it was like a group hug dance. It was wonderful.”

Kathi said her life is owed to a lot of people who did amazing work.

“Thank God for Nine-West at Ruby Memorial Hospital and Dr. Michael Craig,” Kathi said.

In honor of Kathi’s story, Gifford collaborated with another songwriter and wrote a song entitled “You Need a Miracle.” Broadway performer Danielle Williamson sang the song live on Today.

The Today Show has given the Hahn’s plane tickets so they can go to Dusseldorf, Germany to meet the donor.

My Mom the Miracle: 1 Woman, 2 Cancers, 3 Years, 4-Ever Grateful

Ashley Hahn Calvery wrote a heartfelt memoir titled My Mom the Miracle: 1 Woman, 2 Cancers, 3 Years, 4-Ever Grateful, chronicling her mother Kathi Hahn’s courageous battle with ovarian cancer and leukemia

Ashley shares how she put her life on hold—including postponing her wedding and taking a leave from teaching—to become her mother’s full-time advocate during treatment at WVU’s Mary Babb Randolph Cancer Center. She kept friends and family updated through emails and rallied support throughout the journey.

The Story Behind the Memoir

Kathi Hahn was diagnosed with two different cancers within a year.
Ashley moved to Morgantown, West Virginia, to be by her side.
Their story gained national attention, including an appearance on the Today Show. 2
Calvery and her mother appeared on the Today Show to talk about their story.

Author Background

Ashley was born in Athens, Ohio, and raised in Columbia, Maryland.
She holds degrees in Early Childhood Education and Reading.
She’s been a kindergarten teacher since 2005 and currently lives in Florida with her husband.

1www.amazon.com 2hsc.wvu.edu 3www.youtube.com
Can you suggest memoirs focusing on resilience in health?

Absolutely—there are some deeply moving memoirs that focus specifically on resilience in the face of health challenges. Here are several standout titles that offer powerful perspectives on illness, healing, and the human spirit:

Memoirs Centered on Health & Resilience

Title	Author	Focus
When Breath Becomes Air	Paul Kalanithi	A neurosurgeon’s poignant reflection on life and mortality after a terminal cancer diagnosis
Being Mortal	Atul Gawande	A surgeon explores aging, end-of-life care, and how medicine can better serve human dignity
The First Cell	Azra Raza	An oncologist’s personal and professional critique of cancer treatment, blending science and grief
Option B	Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant	Coping with sudden loss and building resilience after tragedy
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly	Jean-Dominique Bauby	Written by a man with locked-in syndrome, this memoir is a testament to the power of the mind and imagination
My Stroke of Insight	Jill Bolte Taylor	A brain scientist’s recovery from a stroke and her insights into brain function and healing
In Shock	Rana Awdish	A physician’s near-death experience and how it transformed her view of patient care

These books offer not just stories of survival, but deep reflections on what it means to live meaningfully in the face of adversity.

Would you like recommendations that focus more on caregiving, like Ashley Hahn Calvery’s perspective?

1therookiejurist.com 2www.everydayhealth.com
How can I apply lessons from these memoirs to my life?

That’s a beautiful and thoughtful question. Memoirs about resilience in health aren’t just stories—they’re mirrors and maps. They reflect our own struggles and offer guidance for navigating life’s toughest terrain. Here’s how you can apply their lessons to your own life:

1. Embrace Vulnerability as Strength

Memoirs like When Breath Becomes Air and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly show that acknowledging fear, pain, and uncertainty isn’t weakness—it’s courage.
Try this: Journal about a time you felt vulnerable and what it taught you. Use it to build emotional awareness.

2. Redefine Control and Acceptance

Health challenges often force us to relinquish control. Books like Being Mortal and My Stroke of Insight teach us to accept what we cannot change and focus on what we can.
Try this: Practice mindfulness or meditation to strengthen your ability to stay present and accept discomfort without judgment.

3. Tell Your Story

Sharing your experience, even privately, can be healing. Ashley Hahn Calvery didn’t plan to write a book—but her story became a source of hope.
Try this: Write a letter to your future self or someone you love, reflecting on a challenge you’ve overcome.

4. Cultivate Empathy and Connection

Memoirs like In Shock and Option B highlight how empathy—whether from caregivers, friends, or strangers—can be life-saving.
Try this: Reach out to someone going through a tough time. A simple message of support can mean more than you know.

5. Find Purpose in Pain

Many authors found deeper meaning through their suffering. Whether it’s advocacy, creativity, or simply living more intentionally, pain can be a catalyst.
Try this: Ask yourself, “What can I do with what I’ve learned?” It could be volunteering, mentoring, or creating something that helps others.

Would you like help crafting your own personal reflection or story based on these themes? I’d love to help you shape it.

What are some other powerful memoirs on resilience?

Here are some powerful memoirs on resilience that have recently captured readers’ hearts and minds. These stories span personal health battles, emotional survival, and transformative life journeys:

New & Noteworthy Memoirs of Resilience

Title	Author	Theme
We Take Great Photos	Claudia Vanzant	Behind a glamorous life lies a chilling reality of emotional survival
The Magic of Normal	Maky Zanganeh	Finding strength and hope through medical adversity and personal transformation
The Harder I Fight the More I Love You	Neko Case	A Grammy-nominated artist’s journey through poverty, obsession, and healing through art
Rooted To Rise – YouTube	Rachelle Bryant	Seven women share stories of healing and empowerment through cannabis

These memoirs offer not just inspiration, but tools for reflection, healing, and growth. Would you like a curated list based on a specific theme—like overcoming illness, trauma, or identity struggles?

1www.newinbooks.com 2sobrief.comWhat are the main themes explored in the book?

Main Themes in “My Mom the Miracle” by Ashley Hahn Calvery:

Ashley’s memoir is rich with emotional depth and explores several powerful themes:

1. Resilience in the Face of Illness

The book centers on her mother’s battle with two different cancers within a single year, highlighting the strength it takes to endure such a journey
It portrays the ups and downs of treatment, the physical and emotional toll, and the determination to survive.

2. Family and Caregiving

Told from the perspective of a daughter and caregiver, the story emphasizes the bond between mother and child, and how love fuels perseverance.
It also shows how illness affects not just the patient, but their entire support system.

3. Hope and Positivity

Despite the grim circumstances, the memoir is infused with hope, gratitude, and optimism, encouraging readers to find light even in the darkest times.
Ashley shares how her mother remained positive and fought for her family.

4. Mental and Emotional Strength

The narrative explores the psychological challenges of facing life-threatening illness and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it.
It’s a candid look at fear, courage, and the human spirit.

5. Gratitude and Faith

The subtitle “4-Ever Grateful” reflects a deep sense of thankfulness—for survival, for family, and for the lessons learned through adversity.
Faith and spiritual strength are subtly woven into the story.

Would you like a quote that captures one of these themes, or a reflection on how this book might resonate with someone going through a similar experience?

What life lessons can be learned from these themes?

Life Lessons from “My Mom the Miracle” by Ashley Hahn Calvery:

Drawing from the book’s themes and emotional journey, here are some powerful life lessons that emerge:

1. Strength Is Found in the Struggle

Facing two cancers in one year is unimaginable, yet Ashley’s mother shows that inner strength often reveals itself in crisis.
We learn that resilience isn’t about never falling—it’s about rising every time we do.

2. Family Is a Lifeline

The memoir emphasizes how family support can be a healing force, emotionally and spiritually.
It reminds us to cherish our loved ones and be present for them, especially in times of need.

3. Positivity Is a Choice

Even amid pain and uncertainty, Ashley’s mother chooses hope and gratitude.
This teaches us that attitude can shape experience, and positivity can be a powerful tool for survival.

4. Mental Health Matters

The emotional toll of illness affects both the patient and caregivers.
The book encourages us to acknowledge emotional struggles and seek support, rather than suppressing them.

5. Gratitude Transforms Perspective

The subtitle “4-Ever Grateful” isn’t just a clever phrase—it’s a philosophy.
We learn that gratitude can coexist with grief, and that appreciating life’s small blessings can bring peace.

6. Faith and Hope Are Anchors

While not overtly religious, the story reflects a deep sense of faith in healing, in love, and in purpose.
It teaches us that hope isn’t naive—it’s necessary.

Would you like a short reflection or journal prompt inspired by these lessons? Or maybe a quote from the book that captures one of them?What are some emotional challenges related to these themes?

Emotional Challenges Explored in “My Mom the Miracle” by Ashley Hahn Calvery:

Ashley’s memoir doesn’t shy away from the raw emotional toll of battling cancer—twice. Here are some of the key emotional challenges tied to the book’s themes:

1. Shock and Fear of Diagnosis

Being told you have cancer is devastating. Being told twice, with two different types, is emotionally overwhelming.
The initial shock, fear of mortality, and uncertainty about the future are central emotional hurdles.

2. Emotional Whiplash

The journey is described as a roller coaster—moments of hope followed by setbacks.
This constant emotional fluctuation can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and even despair.

3. Caregiver’s Burden

Ashley writes from the perspective of a daughter and caregiver, revealing the emotional strain of watching a loved one suffer.
Feelings of helplessness, guilt, and emotional burnout are common in caregiving roles.

4. Isolation and Misunderstanding

Cancer can create a sense of isolation—not everyone understands the depth of the emotional experience.
Patients and caregivers may feel alone in their pain, even when surrounded by others.

5. Mental Health Struggles

The memoir offers a candid look at how cancer affects not just the body, but the mind and spirit.
Depression, anxiety, and emotional numbness are part of the journey, though often hidden behind brave faces.

6. Balancing Hope with Reality

Staying positive is a theme, but it’s not easy. The emotional challenge lies in holding onto hope while facing harsh realities.
This tension can be mentally and emotionally draining.

Would you like a reflection on how to cope with these emotional challenges, or perhaps a quote from the book that speaks to one of them?How do mental health struggles manifest in cancer patients?

Mental Health Struggles in Cancer Patients: How They Manifest

Cancer doesn’t just affect the body—it deeply impacts the mind and emotions. Here are some of the most common ways mental health challenges show up in cancer patients:

1. Anxiety and Fear

Fear of death, recurrence, or treatment side effects is common.
Patients may experience panic attacks, constant worry, or difficulty sleeping due to racing thoughts.

2. Depression

Cancer patients are five times more likely to experience depression than the general population.
Symptoms include persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, fatigue, and feelings of hopelessness.

3. Cognitive Changes (“Chemo Brain”)

Many patients report memory issues, trouble concentrating, and mental fog during or after treatment.
These changes can be frustrating and affect self-esteem and independence.

4. Social Isolation and Loneliness

Physical limitations, stigma, or emotional withdrawal can lead to feeling disconnected from others.
Older adults especially face increased loneliness due to grief and loss of autonomy.

5. Grief and Identity Loss

Patients may grieve the loss of their former health, appearance, or lifestyle.
This can lead to existential distress and a crisis of identity, especially in older adults.

6. Suicidal Thoughts and Emotional Numbness

Some patients may engage in excessive planning for others after their death, or express a lack of joy in life.
These can be warning signs of deeper emotional pain and should be addressed immediately.

7. Barriers to Mental Health Care

Many patients wait months to see a psychiatrist, despite acute need.
Cultural, racial, and systemic barriers also prevent equitable access to supportive care.

Coping Strategies

Distress screening is now recommended in all clinical settings.
Support groups, counseling, and integrated care teams can help patients navigate these challenges.

Would you like to explore how caregivers can support someone facing these struggles, or how mental health care can be better integrated into cancer treatment?

1www.cancer.org 2Medindia 3www.cdc.gov 4Oncology Nursing News 5www.mdanderson.orgWhat coping strategies are most effective for cancer patients?

Effective Coping Strategies for Cancer Patients

Coping with cancer involves managing not just the physical symptoms, but also the emotional, psychological, and social challenges that come with the diagnosis and treatment. Here are some of the most effective strategies, based on expert guidance and patient experiences

1. Build a Strong Support Network

Stay connected with family, friends, and support groups.
Talking openly about fears and feelings can reduce isolation and boost resilience.

2. Practice Stress Management Techniques

Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and guided imagery help reduce anxiety and improve emotional well-being.
Regular relaxation can also help with sleep and pain management.

3. Educate Yourself

Understanding your diagnosis, treatment options, and side effects empowers you to make informed decisions.
Knowledge reduces fear and helps you feel more in control.

4. Use Healthy Distraction

Engage in hobbies, creative activities, or light exercise to shift focus away from illness.
Keeping busy can help prevent rumination and emotional fatigue.

5. Find Humor and Joy

Laughing—even in tough times—can be therapeutic.
Watching comedies, spending time with children, or sharing funny stories can lighten emotional load.

6. Seek Professional Mental Health Support

Therapists, counselors, and oncology social workers can help with depression, anxiety, and trauma.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) are especially effective.

7. Explore Spiritual or Existential Support

For some, faith or spiritual practices offer comfort and meaning.
Others may benefit from existential counseling to explore purpose and identity.

8. Stay Involved in Your Care

Actively participating in treatment decisions fosters a sense of agency.
Ask questions, track symptoms, and advocate for your needs.

9. Accept and Adapt

Accepting the reality of illness doesn’t mean giving up—it means adapting with grace.
Flexibility in expectations and routines can ease emotional strain.

Would you like a printable checklist of these strategies or suggestions tailored to caregivers supporting someone with cancer?

1med.stanford.edu 2www.cancer.gov 3www.cancer.org

Summary

Ashley shares the emotional and inspiring journey of her mother, who was diagnosed with two different types of cancer within a single year. The book chronicles:

The rollercoaster of medical treatments and emotional struggles
The strength and resilience of her mother
The impact on family and friends
A message of hope, gratitude, and perseverance

About the Author

Ashley Hahn Calvery is a kindergarten teacher with degrees in Early Childhood Education and Reading. She lives in Florida and wrote this book from the perspective of a caregiver, aiming to uplift others facing similar battles.

Where to Find It

Would you like a quote from the book or a summary in a more emotional tone?

Possible Key Quotes & Themes

On Resilience and Strength

“She fought for her family and came out on top.” —
A testament to her mother’s unwavering determination.
“Could you imagine being told you have cancer, not only once, but twice?” —
Sets the emotional tone and gravity of the journey.

On Love and Family

“This story provides insight on how to stay positive while fighting the deadly disease of cancer.” — Reflects the emotional support and love that carried them through.
“The ups and downs of the two battles were like a roller coaster.” — Captures the unpredictable nature of illness and healing.