My wonderful husband Michael Madden took this photo 
Written By Shannon Knight
The Day I Became Shannon Knight
April 7th, 2000—I started a new life as Shannon Knight for my safety through the Victims of Crime program. I picked the name Knight so I would always remember that with God, I was never alone. As Ephesians 6:10 says, “Put on the full armor of God.”
From the moment I became Shannon Knight, I had to keep my former name buried. Four years of watching my words in every way became my new way of applying for a job, meeting people. Every job interview, every handshake, every new beginning—I had to pretend the name I carried didn’t feel foreign. I’m a deeply honest woman. Pretending was almost unbearable.
Our name is significant in life—let’s face it—and getting a new identity means changing every document just to live day to day. Signatures felt fake. Everything was harder than I imagined. I couldn’t reference my work experience, my college education, or any references connected to my birth name. My life approach was like a first-timer in the United States. Brand new beginnings became my way of living.
The women I met were kind, but I couldn’t be 100% genuine with them. I couldn’t talk about anything connected to my past—where I went to school, the jobs I had, or even places I’d lived—because any of it could lead to more questions that pointed back to Jennifer. I felt like an imposter, building friendships with no roots of my own.
There were two friends from California who knew the truth, and I stayed in touch with them. I trusted them because they were my roommates before I fled and had witnessed everything. We wrote letters. Their words made me feel connected to the familiar, giving me just enough familiarity of who I used to be. The contact I did have with family was mostly with my mom and sometimes with a few siblings, but none of them knew what had actually happened.
Years later, my younger brother admitted he thought I had just disappeared—and for lack of a better explanation, believed I must have had a breakdown and walked away from my life. That misunderstanding was so embarrassing and painful. I hadn’t walked away. I had been forced to disappear—for survival.
When you’re someone who craves honesty, hiding the truth becomes a wound all its own, deep in your heart. I wasn’t lying. But I wasn’t whole either. That fracture lived in me. I knew, though, that God never lost track of me. He didn’t need me to explain a thing. He knew exactly why I left. And He never looked away.
The rules were clear: if I returned to California and something happened to me, the Victims of Crime program wouldn’t protect me. I wasn’t banned from going back—I was warned. If I put myself in danger, they’d pull any assistance—rerouting of my mail, counseling, medical care—everything. The full story of what happened to me is on my website—ShannonKnight.com—for anyone who genuinely wants to know.
But this post isn’t about retelling those details. This is a quiet, firm acknowledgment of the twenty-five year mark. A moment to honor what it meant—and still means—not only to survive and to heal, but to rise. To live with purpose because of adversity. To allow the suffering to mean something greater by becoming hope for someone else walking through their own unthinkable storm. This is why I share. Not to retell all the pain, but to let someone know—they’re not alone. I promise, you can get through. Just hold on to your faith in God.
Making new friends was hard. I tried. I tested the waters. Shared just a sliver. People gossiped. Some didn’t believe me. Others thought I was making it up. The truth unnerved them. It was too much. And so, I shut down.
What they didn’t understand (How could they?) was that even those tiny pieces I shared were monumental for me to say out loud and instead of care, I got curious. Questions. Prodding. It brought the rawness of what I went through rushing back. I felt exposed and vulnerable and I withdrew- stayed in my room at times wondering where I belonged – that was on me, I was the one who was unsure.
It took four years before I could speak a word of what happened to my new friends in Washington—and I had to trust them first. Those friends are family to me to this day. They may not fully realize how much I value their love and support but I hope one day they will feel the magnitude of my gratitude.
Four more years went by before I could return to CA.
When I returned to California, iI was carrying both a name that had saved me and an awkwardness that had cost me the luxury of just being known without complicated explanations. This was not easy to explain to those who were part of my former life—the most familiar part of my life.
Most people who know me today through social media know me because I healed from stage four breast cancer without chemotherapy. While some know what I endured before that diagnosis, many do not. And that experience—the one before cancer—is the reason I became a coach for women today, teaching self-compassion.
In 2010, I was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and given only months to live. I was terrified—again. But I was strong. I had already survived so much darkness. I knew God was with me, and with the help of my friends, I healed without chemotherapy in 2011.
Living with a new identity was the hardest thing to endure—and still is today at times. Becoming Shannon Knight was the most brutal part of my story. Not because of the name, but because it was misunderstood. Treated like a lie. When in truth, it was the only way I had to live in peace and feel safe.
The pain from everything I endured is what shaped me into a woman who knows what it means to survive—not because I’m fearless, but because I’ve lived through things most people can’t fathom and still found my way. Courage isn’t something we walk around showing off. It shows up when you’re terrified—you have a choice: either crumble or fight and persevere.
My children—my son and my daughter—are part of this story. But I’ve left them out of this post on purpose.
They lived it in their own way. Their truth is theirs to tell.
I share mine now not to reopen old wounds—but to reach the woman who thinks she’s too far gone. Too bruised. Too broken. I’m here to say: you are not.
Sharing this story isn’t easy—it takes courage. It brings up every fragile layer I once had to bury. But I believe it holds value. Not because it’s extraordinary, but because it’s familiar to any woman who’s been through her own hell and lived to question her worth, wondering if she’ll make it through and being able to be honest about the pain. It can show someone else that they aren’t walking through trauma alone. That maybe, just maybe, there’s a light at the end of what feels like a tunnel that has been dark for too long.
Self-criticism used to be the voice I heard most.
It told me worse things than anyone else ever could; that I was too broken to be truly loved or too strange to be accepted—yes, strange. That voice was a liar and it needed to be quieted.
The truth is there is a greater love we all deserve—and it is God’s love. His is the truth, one of compassion. He could find me even when I was hiding. He knew me and saw everything even when I felt invisible. That love—God’s love—never left me, and it taught me about self-compassion.
Healing didn’t come all at once. But I did the work.
Slowly and sometimes it was a few steps forward—and even more stumbling backward. But I eventually gained meaningful strides in my emotional and spiritual healing. I faced the parts of me that hurt the most head-on. And with faith in God’s perspective of me, I learned self-compassion. I began to see myself the way God sees me—with truth, tenderness, and grace.
Now, as a faith-based life coach for women, I sit across from them in their pain. I listen. I understand. And I tell them, not with platitudes—but with grit, empathy, and transparency: “I’ve been there.”
This isn’t just my story. It’s the reason I show up—for the woman who needs someone to look her in the eye and say, “You matter. You always have.”
Do You Suffer From Panic, Keeping It Hidden So You Won’t be a Burden?
I nearly held back from writing this because revealing that you sometimes suffer from panic or anxiety can be . But if I’m going through something difficult and sharing it helps even one person who experiences the same thing and helps them feel less alone, then I believe it’s worth it. I want to use any experience I’ve been through that could help someone else get through theirs.
I’m feeling sensitive just writing this.
For ten years, I’ve walked alongside women facing cancer, and I’ve seen some struggle with panic attacks—many who hide them. These attacks feel like someone’s standing over you, threatening your life, leaving you afraid and helpless.
I’ve faced panic most of my life, since 2000 but it hit me hardest in 2010 when I was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer and was told I had only months to live. That diagnosis, combined with other painful chapters of my life, left emotional scars. Even when years pass, the brain holds on to those wounds, and they can trigger panic and anxiety without warning.
For women with cancer, there’s something so deeply misunderstood: when they get that diagnosis, their life has been threatened. And even after healing, that threat lingers in the mind and body. A cancer diagnosis sends you into a mental battle for survival and many of my clients don’t realize their anxiety attacks are tied to the trauma of that moment in life.
Life can feel peaceful, and then out of nowhere, it’s as if someone pounds on your door delivering a message that says, “You’re in danger.” That bone-chilling terror can feel like a sudden ambush.
No matter the trigger, we need tools. And I want to share something that helps me. When I am overwhelmed I say the Lord’s Prayer out loud. It draws me close to Him and reminds me I’m not alone.
And, for the mind, there is something I share with my coaching clients, and I want to share it with you.
A Simple Exercise for Panic:
When a panic attack hits, your amygdala (your brain’s fear center) leaps into overdrive—even when there’s no real threat. It’s like an overprotective guard dog reacting to a sound it thinks is danger. It floods you with adrenaline. Your heart races. Your breath shortens. You feel trapped.
Here’s how I calm that overprotective part of my brain.
Say everything out loud:
1. Name what you feel:
“I feel afraid.”
“I feel like I’m going to die.”
“I feel like I’m out of control.”
Saying it out loud activates the thinking part of your brain—the part that can help you calm the panic.
2. Name three things you see around you:
“Lamp.”
“Chair.”
“Notebook.”
This grounds you in the present. It tells your brain: you are safe right now.
3. Repeat these steps until you feel safe again.
You might need to do this multiple times. That’s okay. Your brain needs proof that everything is okay. Each repetition helps your nervous system settle.
Share this exercise with someone you trust. Let them be your support. My husband Michael is mine. If I am going through an anxiety attack he’ll remind me of what I need to do. It’s tricky while you are having the panic because it can make you forget. So we need someone who can guide us back when fear takes over.
If you’re someone who feels you need to stay strong, and asking for help makes you worry that you’ll be a burden—you won’t. I reached out to someone today. I was vulnerable and said what I needed. I got help. It’s humbling too but it’s human too.
This exercise is yours now and I have many more but you can carry it with you. Practice it. And know that when panic comes—you are not alone. For me the attacks have become further apart and I know healing is happening because I am with a spouse who shares my faith and is very safe and kind to me.
I hope this helps someone, with all my love,
God is in all the details of your life ✝️✨
ShannonKnight.com
In the photo is Dr. Payan and Dr. Campa at CMN Hospital, and they are still there today.
https://www.cmn alternative cancer treatment.com/
This is Dr. Payan and Dr. Campa who have known each other since they were kids and are still working together treating patients at CMN Hospital in San Luis Rio Colorado MX.
Dr. Payan treated me successfully with alternative cancer treatment for stage four breast cancer in 2011 February. I have never had a recurrence since then and I’ve never had to use chemotherapy since my diagnosis in 2006. What a blessing that was for me.
Shannon Knight is at CMN Advanced Cancer Treatment.
July 11, 2024 · ·
Imagine being told you have only months to live.
In 2010, I found myself in that exact situation, diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. UCLA informed me that I was too sick for chemo, and that surgery and radiation had failed. They had no further options and advised me to get my affairs in order. I was devastated, heartbroken, and terrified, but I wasn’t ready to give up.
With the help of my friends, we managed to raise money for alternative treatments. This unexpected journey led me to Dr. Payan at CMN Hospital, where my life was saved using treatments I never knew existed. By 2011, I was completely healed. The gratitude and appreciation I feel are beyond words.
I know that unless you’ve been through something like this, it can be difficult to understand the depth of what I experience daily. Every day feels like a precious gift, and I no longer take anything for granted. My perspective on life has changed dramatically. I used to worry so much about minor things that never even happened. Now, I see just how small those worries were in the bigger picture.
Understanding the Five Stages of Grief
Denial is one of the five stages of a cancer diagnosis.
My loved ones thought I was in denial when I refused to quit, but I knew I had to keep fighting. I had to believe in a different outcome.
Anyone who has had their life saved will feel a deep sense of love and appreciation for the person who helped them. Dr. Payan from CMN Hospital deserves all the praise for his incredible dedication, genuine professionalism, and kind heart.
I know my experience with Dr. Payan and CMN Hospital has shaped my views. It’s like having a trusted friend who stood by you during the hardest time of your life. Naturally, I hold them in the highest regard. However, I understand that cancer is deeply personal for each of us, and what worked for me may not be the answer for someone else. If I ever face cancer again, I would return to him without hesitation, knowing I can trust him with my life.
People often reach out to me with questions.
Now, I’d like to gently ask you to consider a few thoughts:
Can you imagine the feeling of having a doctor save your life against all odds? Finding a doctor who gives you not just months or years, but over a decade more to live—how would that change your outlook on life?
Can you picture the gratitude I feel? I am deeply thankful and blessed. Dr. Payan’s intervention was nothing short of a miracle, and I will always hold a deep appreciation for him and God because I prayed hard for an answer besides just giving up.
If someone asked if Dr. Payan was trustworthy, what do you think I would say?
I would happily vouch for him, sharing my personal experience of how he saved my life and expressing my strong trust in his expertise and dedication.
How fair do you feel it is to ask me what you should do to save your life or to heal? While I can share my perspective and support, it’s important to understand that each person’s situation is unique. What worked for me might not work for others, and it’s crucial to seek personalized medical advice.
Would you trust a doctor who promises to save your life with any type of cancer treatment? No doctor can guarantee a cure. Being honest about the potential outcomes and the limitations of treatments is essential.
How much of a role in the decision-making process, do you think fear contributes? Fear plays a significant role. Speaking with someone who has faced a similar situation can provide comfort, understanding, and valuable insights but that is all. You have to have your own faith, trust your intuition and research.
Do you think it’s important to be cautious of anyone who guarantees 100% success with any doctor or treatment? Yes, it’s important to have realistic expectations. While I highly recommend CMN Hospital and Dr. Payan’s team based on my positive experience, remember that no one can promise a cure.
If I ever got cancer again do you think I would trust Dr. Payan again to help me heal? Absolutely, I would trust him again. My past experience has built a strong foundation of trust in his abilities and care.
Do you think that I am the only one Dr. Payan healed or that others are not so open with their story of cancer, especially breast cancer? No, I am not the only one. Dr. Payan has helped many others, each with their own incredible stories of healing and recovery.
Overcoming stage 4 cancer felt like a miracle, especially back in 2010.
When I was diagnosed, the prognosis was grim. Stage 4 means the cancer has spread to other parts of the body, and survival rates are often low. Many people are given only months to live and are told there are no more options. But here I am, years later, sharing my story of hope and gratitude. Cancer runs rampant in my family, yet Dr. Payan’s treatments helped me achieve complete healing by August 2011, with minimal side effects.
It’s important to make decisions that feel right “for you.” Trust yourself, seek guidance, pray and know that you’re not alone—many of us stand at similar crossroads, making difficult choices.
When it comes to learning about CMN Hospital and their treatments, visiting their website and spending time learning about their treatments can be helpful. It gave me a clearer understanding of their approach and reassured me during a challenging time. Dr. Payan truly understands how personal and important these decisions are and will support you without any pressure. It’s important to make the choices that feel best for you and to trust yourself. People will have their opinions and good intentions but ultimately they do not have to live with the result of the decision you make, you are.
Shannon Knight @ FACEBOOK
INTRO: My name is Michael Winegar CEO ESSANTE ORGANIC – Search Videos and you know today is a real special day because uh we got Miss Shannon Knight with us and you know Shannon’s really done a lot helping other people going through some really really life-changing things in their lives.
Shannon’s you know she’s a compassionate life coach writer an advocate who has you know dedicated her life to supporting women through some of life’s most challenging uh moments and with a deep personal understanding of trauma having overcome stage four breast cancer herself sexual assault stalking domestic violence
Shannon’s journey is one of the most profound resilience and hope right and after being given only to live by UCLA in 2010 Shannon sought alternative cancer treatment at cmn hospital which saved her life and that’s exactly where I went and today she combines her experiences of her journey and health coaching expertise to inspire others to embrace self-compassion
Faith a holistic approach to uh healing and Shannon’s unique insights drawn from her own path to recovery have empowered countless women to transform their lives and discover their true purpose and you know so you don’t want to miss you know get
people on here and then and they want to hear Shannon’s story and gain value and valuable insights into navigating nutrition and lifestyle and wellness in this what we call the Post pandemic and post cancer world. So, with that I want to start by saying thank you Shannon for being here.