Your Emotions Are Powerful Influences Upon Your Life!!!
Research has shown that by suppressing your emotions pretty well also shuts down communication within that relationship. Let’s chat about what the findings from one study might mean for your relationship. James Gross, a scientist who studies emotion, found that when we try to suppress emotion, this is what happens:
• It’s very hard to do – basically it doesn’t work. We have to work very hard to shut an emotion down once it is up and running, and in the process, we often get more agitated and tense. This is especially true in close relationships when the trigger for the emotion, the other person, is still there giving us signals that get us all
fired up.
• Emotion doesn’t stay inside our skin. When we try to shut feelings off, the people we are relating to also get more and more tense.
When we are denying our feelings, our partners probably get tense because our faces register our feelings way faster than the thinking part of the brain can shut them down. So our partner knows there is something going on when we say “Oh, nothing is wrong. I am fine.” This partner also knows that we are shutting them out. When partners can’t read our cues, they can’t predict our behavior. We say one thing but they see another. It makes sense that they get tense. Probably this uncertainty puts everyone off balance and adds to the likelihood that the conversation, or even the whole evening, goes sour.
Emotions are fast. It takes about 100 milliseconds for our brain to react emotionally and about 600 milliseconds for our thinking brain, our cortex, to register this reaction. By the time you decide that it’s better not to get mad or to be sad, your face has been expressing it for 500 milliseconds. Too late! The emotional signal has been sent. It’s like pressing “send” on your email before you double-check content and email address. Not only that, but when you deny the message, this is so puzzling for your partner and makes it harder for them to feel relaxed and safe with you. You are suddenly someone who can shut them out as if they don’t matter!
What does all this tell us as lovers and partners? It tells us that the shut down and suppress strategy should be used with care. That it doesn’t do what we usually hope it will do, namely calm us down, lower the tenor of a conversation or bypass a fight. Most of the time, we shut down out of habit. We do it because we don’t know what else to do. What I see, as a couple therapist, is that it really isn’t so dangerous to just say that you are mad, sad, scared, surprised, somehow ashamed or full of joy. This list is about it for the real core universal emotions. When we name our emotions we often feel more grounded, more in control. And we give our partner the chance to respond – to empathize.
And in the end, giving our partner a chance to show us they care, that they can be with us and be there for us, is one of the magic ingredients of a loving relationship.
Problems with the head: Feeling that something is wrong with “us.” Hair problems: Lack of strength; tension. Ear problems: Unwillingness to hear what’s going on around you; anger about what is heard. Stomach problems: Inability to assimilate new experiences; fear of new ideas. Neck problems: Stubbornness; inability to see the other side of the equation.Throat problems: Feeling inadequate to stand for yourself; repressed anger; swallowing emotional hurt.Back problems: Lack of support. Upper back: lack of emotional support, holding back love; Middle back: Guilt; Lower back: lack of financial support, fear of money. Eye Problems: Not liking what you see in your life; Not wanting to see the past, present or the future; Not seeing Truth. Knee problem: Inflexibility; stubbornness; inability to bend; ego. Lung problems: Feeling that we do not have the right to live life fully. Mouth problems: Incapacity to take ideas; closed mind; set opinions. Nerve problems: Confused thinking; fear; struggle; anxiety. Breast problems: Over-mothering a place, person, a thing or an experience. Heart problems: Denying yourself joy and love. Bladder problems: Being pissed off. Colon problems: Inability to let go; holding on to the old. Leg problems: Inability to move forward; reluctance for the future.
One study conducted by psychologists from Harvard School of Public Health and the University of Rochester found that suppressing emotions may increase the risk of dying from heart disease and certain forms of cancer. This confirms earlier studies that have linked negative emotions like anger, anxiety, and depression to the development of heart disease.
The health risks increase, it seems, when people have no way of expressing or acting on their feelings, the researchers say. We know that stress can build up and become chronic when our “natural” fight-or-flight responses meant to help us survive in conflict situations are frustrated. Similarly detrimental effects may occur when negative emotions remain unexpressed.
Some experts suggest that acknowledging emotions, especially distressing ones, and airing them from time to time is an important component of mental health.
As youth, we’ve always wanted to see a “change” in our world.
– a change that should happen in our government, education system, environment, etc. But if we are going to ask ourselves as to the change we want to see in ourselves, we don’t know what to answer yet. I’ve always believed that in order to start a change in our society, we must change ourselves first.
We can only appreciate other people if we begin to to appreciate and love ourselves first, “save yourself before you can save others.”
Same thing applies when it comes to appreciating and loving ourselves.
And as we begin to love ourselves, we should make sure that we love our country as well. Loving our country doesn’t always mean that we have to choose a particular side in our political battlefield. Loving our country means that we have to be proud of our nationality and our flag. Loving our country means that we have to appreciate our culture, tradition, history, fellowmen…. even if you don’t like our government. Anyone else? 
In our culture, people quickly feel guilty or ashamed when they appear as being overly negative or critical, says Tori Rodriguez, a psychotherapist and writer based in Atlanta. We are biased toward positive thinking, which is worth cultivating, but problems arise when people start believing they must be upbeat all the time, she says.
“Anger and sadness are an important part of life, and new research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health. Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment. Acknowledging the complexity of life may be an especially fruitful path to psychological well-being.”
But how about positive emotions? Can they make us healthier? Yes, especially if we allow ourselves to express them, a separate study from Harvard found.
Individuals with great emotional vitality have a much lower risk of developing heart disease compared to the less emotionally expressive, according to Dr. Laura Kubzansky, a professor of human health and development at Harvard School of Public Health and lead author of the study report. There are mechanisms at play we don’t fully understand yet, she says, but there is evidence that positive emotions can provide some sort of “restorative biology.”
Obviously, neither positive nor negative feelings arise in a vacuum. An essential part of emotional well-being is our ability to create and maintain a conducive environment where our various needs are satisfied and our bodies, minds and souls are nourished. Not all, but a great deal of that is within our control and can benefit from our care. That in itself should give us cause to feel better.
Albert Einstein proved that everything in the universe is energy. Have you ever thought about what it means practically? It means that any problem that you experience in your life is energy-related. Simply- It can not be otherwise !
Like all living systems, your body is a unified collection
of energy fields. If you alter the quality of these fields
then you can change the way your body functions and
your life also.
We have heard in recent years how stress can kill you.
Well, it is really not the stress in and of itself that will kill you, it is the way you choose to process the stress that could hurt you or make you very sick. The body in essence is a mirror of our inner thoughts, emotions and beliefs. Every single cell in your body has its own intelligence and is able to listen to what you are thinking and feel what you are expressing emotionally.
In reality, your cells and your body respond to every thought you think, every emotion you have and every word you speak. Repetitive modes of thinking and suppressing negative feelings and emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, depression, and hatred can and will eventually manifest as dis-ease in the body. Literally, your suppressed emotions become like ticking bombs that a wait for the perfect conditions to detonate and manifest as dis-ease.
The holistic energy therapy is a surprisingly effective method to get rid of bad feelings, to increase the energy within us and to preserve the momentum in any area of our lives. In this way, we can renew the foundation for our development and live a more successful happier life. More info: www.holisticpersonaldevelopmen
Emotion cause of Cancer/tumor: long-standing resentment, suppressed feelings anger or grief, shock, feel remorse, lack of love or sense of loss.
Cancer Patients Need Rehab, Not Just Treatment
When Dr. Silver was a 38-year-old physician and a mother of three, she had breast cancer. After surgery and chemotherapy, she was discharged from treatment with no follow-up care plan. When she looked to our health care system for support, there were no rehab programs in place to help her with her recovery.
If Julie Silver, M.D., had suffered a stroke or was injured in a car accident, her doctor would have sent her to rehabilitation. This would likely involve months of physical therapy, as well as other medical treatments to help her regain her strength and flexibility, and to decrease her pain and fatigue. If she had survived nearly any serious illness, or even a relatively minor injury such as an ankle sprain, she would have been referred to a rehab program in order to expedite her recovery.
As your scroll downward onto page 2 of this website you will find blog upon blog of cancer survivors and research that may help overcome the trial and tribulations that find yourself presently. With undying faith you can…. you will ….you must change the course with the confidence of following your inner being and devote guidance within called your spirit!! Dr. Julie Silver is a physician, an associate professor at Harvard Medical School, and a breast cancer survivor. She’s come up with a program of “pre-rehabilitation and habilitation that maybe the understanding to put you on the path of cancer survivorship.”
Dr. Silver, a specialist in physical medicine and rehabilitation, was faced with post-treatment symptoms that left her too sick to care for her family or return to work. She began to wonder why the same principles of rehab that are widely recognized as beneficial in fields such as cardiac and orthopedic medicine, were not being applied to oncology. Why weren’t cancer patients offered rehab services similar to those that had become the standard of care for survivors of other serious illnesses and injuries?
Encouraged by their oncologists to get back to the busy lives they led before the cancer diagnosis, many survivors — there are currently more than 11 million in the U.S. alone — find the going tough, if not impossible.
Cancer treatments are extremely toxic. Chemotherapy, immunotherapy or radiation and surgery cause debilitating physical problems that impede daily activities. Troubling symptoms include pain, fatigue, loss of strength, cognitive impairment, sleep difficulties, sexual dysfunction, depression and anxiety. If left unresolved, they can plague individuals for a lifetime. Here is a typical story:
In 2003, I started chemo and simultaneous radiation — a horrid combination. The chemo made me bald, nauseous, no appetite, dry mouth, neuropathy and incredibly fatigued. No one told me that without eyelashes, dust and dirt fly into your eyes; and that my nose would constantly run and run and frequently bleed.
The radiation was even worse. For three days I was living in a star-wars movie with beams of light shooting across the room — the cold room where I was half naked, forced into a uncomfortable position and told not to move while strangers drew lines on my chest with markers and placed little bb’s — and this was just the pre-work.
Then the physiologists started taking measurements. They had a tough job to aim at a malignant node under the chest bone while avoiding my heart and working around my implants. The radiation itself was okay for a while, but then my skin started to burn. I stopped going, was told to go to the burn unit for “burn baths” till I healed enough to continue the treatments. That was my entry into the world of cancer treatment.
—Ellen
A Hidden Need
This year, more than 1.5 million Americans will be diagnosed with cancer and will undergo treatments not unlike those just described. Desperate to keep pace with the growth of this disease, medical technology is rapidly improving cancer treatment. But cancer patients like Ellen and Dr. Silver pay a high price for these life-saving treatments.
Quality survivorship programs include cancer rehab services could enable survivors to recover their health and resume happy, fulfilling lives. However, in the absence of knowledge of such programs, many cancer patients may be left to suffer longer, and needlessly. In this regard, the results of a 2011 survey co-sponsored by the AARP, the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, are instructive.
That survey found that while roughly half of adults age 50 and older use some form of complementary treatment (acupuncture, physical therapy, massage, meditation, etc.), less than half reported ever talking with their primary health provider about it.
And of those who did have such a conversation, twice as many said it was they, not their health care provider, who initiated that conversation. In other words, the much-needed rehabilitation of cancer patients is still in many ways an untold story. Moreover, that rehabilitation may actually enhance patients’ survivability.
Linking Stress, Rehabilitation and Survivability
According to a study conducted at Stanford University School of Medicine, women with breast cancer who are clinically depressed are at higher risk for a recurrence of cancer than women who have only the cancer but not the depression. The reason may well have to do with the way depression affects the immune system. This was a study of women with metastatic breast cancer and there is little doubt that these women were under chronic stress.
In fact, the more symptoms of depression these women had, the less their immune systems were able to respond to a variety of bacteria, fungi and yeasts. Meanwhile, researchers at the Health Sciences Center at the State University of Londrina in Brazil, published in The Lancet also concluded from the many studies on the immune system, “chronic stress impairs the immune response and contributes to the development and progression of some types of cancer.”
If the above is the bad news, then here is the good news: According to a growing body of research, complementary treatments might significantly reduce stress. And if we can effectively reduce stress in cancer patients, can’t we reasonably expect to improve their prognosis and at the same time it facilitate their rehabilitation?
In the battle against cancer, patients and physicians can pull out all the stops – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy.
If all goes as planned, the patient goes into remission and gets back to his or her life.
But what about the physical toll of all of these cancer therapies? Some treatments are inherently toxic.
Dr. Julie Silver is a physician, an associate professor at Harvard Medical School, and a breast cancer survivor. She’s come up with a program of cancer rehabilitation and “pre-habilitation.”
Listen to our conversation with Dr. Julie Silver below. http://michiganradio.or
Mental and emotional recovery is just as important as physical recovery, Silver said.
“When you think women would feel terrific, there is actually a spike in depression, so the physical and emotional go hand in hand,” she said. “As we help women physically heal their emotions go right along with it. They feel so much better emotionally.”
Silver had tips for people who are recovering from breast cancer:
- Start walking.“I tell my patients to get a pedometer and track how many steps they are taking,” she said. “The first goal is just to get to 5,000 steps a day. The second goal is 10,000 steps a day. It’s a fun way to track what you are doing and set goals for your self and pay attention to how active you are.”
- Get eight hours of sleep a night and don’t take naps.“During sleep there are so many chemical reactions that have to do with healing that go on,” Sliver said. When women have been through breast cancer treatment they are often awakened with hot flashes or pain and be anxious or have insomnia. It’s important to treat sleep.”
- Eat healthy food. “I recommend eat regularly throughout the day,” she said. “Three small to medium meals, high in protein and low in fat and high in fruits and vegetables and two good snacks. Fatigue is one of the biggest complaints women have after treatment, and keeping their energy level up rather than having spikes in blood sugar.”For much more about Dr. Silver’s book, click here.
-
Julie Silver, MD
Sacrament, CA
Julie’s Story:After my last chemotherapy appointment, I asked my oncologist, “What do I do now?” When he responded that I needed to go home and try to heal and return to work at some point if I could, I knew that there was a better way—cancer rehabilitation. I’m a rehab doctor, so I’ve spent my entire career helping people to heal as well as possible from serious injuries and illnesses. In 2009, 6 years after I was diagnosed with cancer, I developed the STAR Program (Survivorship Training and Rehabilitation[J1] ). The STAR Program® has been adopted by hospitals and cancer centers throughout the United States. There are more than 2,000 STAR Clinicians® and STAR Providers™ in the U.S. who are trained to help cancer survivors have the best quality of life possible, whether they are cured, in remission or living with cancer as a chronic condition. https://www.boston
globe.com/lifestyle/health- wellness/2013/12/02/new- nutrition-group-offers-dietary -help-cancer-patients/dyTOo8IC zthcIgOYmUrwLL/story.html How do you hope to inspire others with your story?
My goal is to make evidence-based cancer rehabilitation care available to all survivors.
What is one thing you have learned about yourself by having breast cancer?
Resilience. http://www.wbur.or
g/commonhealth/2018/01/12/canc er-survivorship How has breast cancer been a blessing in your life?
I don’t believe that serious illness is a blessing, but I think it’s an opportunity to learn and to use the experience to help others.
What advice would you give someone newly diagnosed with your type of breast cancer?
My advice to people who are newly diagnosed is to focus on all of the survivors. I edited a book for the American Cancer Society called “What Helped Get Me Through: Cancer Survivors Share Wisdom and Hope”. It’s a wonderful collection of survivors’ stories with their wisdom about what really helped them. http://www.genconnect.co
m/angelina-jolie-breast-cancer -risk-has-mastectomy-womens- health-video/ What breast cancer stress or worry wakes you up at 1 AM?
I worry less now than I used to. http://juliesilvermd.com/
“What helped get me through was my innate and very deep love for life mostly, my belief that life is worth fighting for, as well as my knowledge that even cancer is treatable and beatable. And I think, too, my ability and willingness to think outside the box and do my own research, to ask questions and discover on my own how to really survive and thrive.”
Jamie, non-Hodgkin lymphoma survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“You have to be knowledgeable and aware of the latest research. Knowledge is power. You and the doctors are working together for the greater good of your health and your survivorship. I’m blessed to live in an era where there are treatments that can help me live.”
~ Sherrie Grasty, breast cancer survivor
“There is always hope, and that hope is sometimes changing. It means something different for each person in any given situation. When one doctor tells you there is nothing more that can be done, he is merely saying that he has exhausted his expertise. The next oncologist may have more up his sleeve. Hope may come in the second, third, or fourth opinion, or totally evolve into a different form.”
Suzanne, colon cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I want people to know when they hear the word cancer, it’s not associated with death anymore. When the doctor told me I had cancer I thought about death. Then I found a way to beat it. I want to share my story and the glimmer of hope – I want to let people know that this isn’t a death.”
~ J. Dee Marinko, synovial sarcoma survivor
“Today, I find it hard even to remember most of that time, which is so strange because in the beginning, it consumed me. Every waking moment dealt with cancer in one way or another. Sometimes I feel like it happened to another person…and then I realize, it did. I will never again be that person who felt a lump in her breast one night and knew intuitively, ‘I have breast cancer.’ “
Pat, breast cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I’ve coped with the ‘mack truck’ collision that occurs when news of a cancer diagnosis brings your life and your plans to a screeching halt. I’ve known what it’s like to be sicker than I ever thought possible…and to get better; to be so fatigued that I couldn’t sit up; to know the kindness of hospital workers and friends; to feel so very alone…and at the same time part of a huge community of people out there who also proudly call themselves cancer survivors. To me, cancer survivorship is not about getting through cancer without dying. To me, it is about living through cancer treatment and then finding a way to integrate the impact of that news and that treatment back into your life.”
Andrea, Ewing sarcoma survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“You cannot be impatient with yourself. Chemo is almost like trying to self-destruct. Let the internal forces play. Relax. You will emerge again.”
Suza, mantle cell lymphoma survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“The worst thing you can do with any life-threatening disease is sit around all day waiting for the next test. If I die tomorrow I think I could look at myself in the mirror and say I tried everything I could to live as healthy a life as possible. I didn’t just sit around and hope that the next treatment might work.”
~ Arthur Fowle, prostate cancer survivor
“Using the term survivor to describe myself was one of the hardest things I had to overcome. I was superstitious about it and afraid to use it. It took me years to feel comfortable with it and to be able to say (in the past tense), ‘I had cancer.’”
Janet, colon cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I’ve been a cancer survivor so long I don’t know anything else. It means my life is different from that of most people at my age, and it takes a lot of strength to keep going.”
Pamela, Hodgkin disease, basal cell carcinoma, and breast cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I don’t like the term ‘survivor.’ I prefer ‘conqueror.’ To me, survival seems like something blew in and out like a storm, and somehow you made it through. No matter what, I want to be who I am and become a better person through my experiences. I want to take it almost as an opportunity to learn what I need to learn, to appreciate every little thing, to see the world from a different perspective. No matter what, I want to conquer a sense of hopelessness.”
Judi, breast cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I’m proud that I have survived this and have come to learn what is really important in my life. I don’t have a lot of time for worrying because that just wastes energy that could be used towards doing something meaningful.
Cullen Forest, brain cancer survivor
“Cancer cannot take from you what you refuse to give up. After two diagnoses of advanced cancers, I am cancer free! I have not lost my joy, my peace, or my laughter.”
Angie, vulvar and breast cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I’m proud to be a survivor, but I wish I had never been put in the position to play that role. Survivorship means you are alive to advocate for research, to help those who need help, and to gain a better perspective on what life is really about – loving and being loved, giving and sharing.”
Kathie, kidney cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I have found that the human spirit is much more resilient than I had imagined. I have found that friends appear, unasked and undemanding, just when they are needed most –the love of friends is incredibly reaffirming.”
Bill, prostate cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I have my life back, but now it’s even better. I appreciate every day, every smile I see on my children’s faces, every laugh I share with a friend. It’s important to keep the faith. Brighter days are ahead.”
~ Ginger Jordan, ovarian cancer survivor
“To be a survivor is to –
Celebrate every day that both feet hit the floor and you can take a step.
Celebrate every time we get together with friends, no matter what the reason.
Not assume that tomorrow will come; cherish this day for what it is.
Just smile; everything is so much better with a smile.”
Mike, rectal cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“To me, survivorship is very much an attitude; it’s a state of mind. How we interpret the experience of cancer and integrate it into our lives is fundamental to how we coexist with it. I have learned that hope is forever changing, and healing can come without curing.”
Selma Schimmel, breast and ovarian cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
“I realized how quickly life can be taken away. I learned to appreciate what I have and just enjoy life and live in the moment. I appreciate just being able to see my friends and hang out and appreciate all the other people around me that I have. I realized not to take things for granted. If I really want to do something I am going to go and do it and not put it off.”
~ Casey Leach, testicular cancer survivor
“Cancer is a very individual experience. Each and every survivor (and we are all survivors from the day of diagnosis) will have a unique walk down the cancer path. However, we will all meet challenges and successes and failures that have been met and dealt with before us and will be met and dealt with again after us. It behooves us, therefore, not only to avail ourselves of the knowledge of those who have gone before us, but to endeavor to leave behind whatever we can that will benefit those who walk the path after us.”
Barbara, breast cancer survivor
~ From What Helped Get Me Through
