If I had to choose again, I’ll still choose to pass a road less travelled. ~ Cielo 🙂
Cielo Superticioso is a cancer blogger and advocate. She was diagnosed with a rare cancer called Sarcoma. She started a cancer blog called The Cancer Voice where she aims to make the cancer voice heard in Asia, especially in Vietnam — and to strengthen the education of cancer. Cielo is also a community organizer for Filipinos in Vietnam Support Group where she focuses on building social organizations, expanding their membership base and raising questions or alternatives. While also developing sound — organizing strategies, recruiting leadership, assisting with fundraising, running member meetings, and facilitating training sessions. Prior to that she was teacher for 10 years.
Cielo shares what her life was like when she first heard she was diagnosed with a rare cancer and how she is able to come out of it to be the cancer warrior that she is today. She shares her tips that you can use in your own journey to self confidence.
Click here to listen to her episode HERE
“I Talk About My Cancer To Help You Understand, Not To Seek Pity”
The reason why I write, why I share my story with you, what my life is now after cancer, is to connect with you.
Hi, I’m Cielo! I fought cancer. That’s my superpower! What’s yours?
Actually, I really don’t want to keep talking about cancer like I used to do. When I post something about cancer awareness, it doesn’t mean I need your sympathy.
Yes, I still talk about my cancer because this is my life now. I still talk to those who are open to listening. I still talk about it, but it’s not as if my time is only spent on talking about my fight with cancer.
‘I Never Allow My Past Define My Future’
Like you I am living in the present moment. Like you, I’d move on. I’ve moved forward, but it is not learned in a day. It is learned for months. It’s like moving on from someone who broke your heart, but of course, you can still talk about that person, am I right?
No, it doesn’t hurt my feelings if you are not interested to hear about cancer awareness or myself talking about my cancer journey. The truth is, you don’t want to hear any cancer stories because you are afraid, you are annoyed, and the truth is, I don’t care if you won’t listen.
The reason why I write, why I share my story with you, what my life is now after cancer, is to connect with you. I don’t want you to feel sad or sorry for me. No, never. Instead, I want us to talk the same language. Yes, it’s difficult to be in cancer patients or survivors’ shoes. It’s not easy to be aware and sensitive to our feelings in order to help or comfort us. But, you can listen to us. I know there is no right word that you can say to someone who has cancer. Your sincerity matters even when there are no words you can utter. You can also control your judgment towards us, that way you could have a deeper understanding of our journey.
No one is invincible. I could never wish that cancer would happen to you. I share because I want everyone to be aware of their health, to get a checkup.
Think of the people you love and treasure them. Cancer could be someone’s end of life or beginning of a new life. It could be a warning, trial, and a lesson not only to us, who had cancer but for everyone. We all die one day, but don’t let cancer steal your joy and kill you.
Everything happens during the fight against cancer, and it has changed me big time. As a survivor, I embrace a new life beyond the illness. I am sharing with you my journey compassionately.
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created August 2017. She started The Cancer Voice after she successfully beat cancer in Saigon. She is extremely committed, dedciated and determined to continue the campaign in order to strengthen the cancer awareness because no one should fight cancer alone.
She started blogging in August 2017 where the only desire is to share her cancer experiences until she becomes more committed and determined to start a campaign to strengthen the cancer awareness. This campaign aims to make the cancer voice heard in Asia, especially in Vietnam. And so it continues, The Cancer Voice officially launched in 2018, reaching out to Vietnamese to strengthen their education of cancer.
I am glad to share again my story as a Leiomyosarcoma survivor. If you see me as a strong woman today, I was the opposite 3 years ago and even more years before I was diagnosed with cancer. I may say that I used to be a timid girl, grew up as a lady with low self-esteem and developed into more anxious person. But today, I love being the strong me that I am today. I can hold my head up high and confidently say. “I am proud of how far I’ve come.”
Here is another fact which is not a secret to many of us, most people see what’s on the outside. Some of them are amazed at how resilient I am (even myself is amazed how could I do that even until today). But, there are still some days that I don’t feel great, even after cancer. It was 2nd February 2016 when I underwent cancer surgery at Tan Hung Hospital, District 4, HCMC in Veitnam. I was 29 years old, on March 19, I was turning 30. However, before I can celebrate my birthday, my doctor Tung Luong Minh, in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, declared my final biopsy was Leiomyosarcoma, Grade 2, tumor size was 2.607 cm and I was in need — to have 30 sessions of immediate radiation therapy to complete my treatment in the Philippines.
I was in total shock and speechless when the doctor delivered the bad news to me. As my doctor continued to explain to me that my cancer is a rare disease that no one knows much about it even its causes. I never heard the word sarcoma in my entire life. I was all alone when I visited my doctor and left his clinic sobbing quietly. Due to too expenses I spent during my surgery, I decided to go back home to the Philippines. But before I was able to get my treatment, I went to Hong Kong for 2 weeks.
My doctor was anxious because I was supposed to prioritize my treatment than travelling. I am lucky that my doctor allowed me but reminded me not to delay my radiation therapy. He was too kind to remind me even I was in Hong Kong for the Holidays — trying to find myself and peace of mind in another foreign country. I lived my days as if I had no cancer ever. It was great! It was the first official execution of living life to the fullest and in the present moment.
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, & confidence in the doing.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
How My Cancer Change Me?
I’ve been in remission for 3 years and 4 months. My radiation therapy ended last 10th June 2016. I could never be happier when I finally finished my treatment. I was so ready to continue my life, being alive and healthy again. But what happened after my treatment was the opposite in how I used to daydream. My sudden excitement died down. I went back to Ho Chi Minh empty and clueless. I stayed away from the friends I used to chat, hang out and see. I never told anyone that I was back home. I was treating my wound due to too much radiation that burnt my skin after my cancer treatment. I was anxious and started to feel depressed without knowing that I was suffering PTSD. It had taken me 5 months to pass through this stage, however, in these months of feeling in a dark isolated world, I was struggling to leave it. I was crying uncontrollably and I was being misunderstood by few people why I was being too emotional without any reason at all.
In fact, I didn’t understand myself as well. It just made me feel so guilty after some people tried to pull their selves away from me or cut me out from their life. And then I thought, that I had been battling within myself. Feeling that I needed to win against these dark thoughts and conflicting emotions and found the Art of the Conversation.
Meditation helped me to relax my anxious mind and get out through these. It took time for me to be able to meditate effectively. Again, another struggle how could I make this work for me. With patience, consistency and persistence – I was able to make meditation as a habit that gradually took me out from that dark and isolated space that I was within. Until today, meditation has contributed into my daily hustle. Although people see me as strong and full of energy – but I am not that all the time.
Also I have learned two important tips:
1. Eliminate toxic people and relationships.
Just like having a garden full of flowers blooming, you have to weed out all the unnecessary weeds that will most likely stop the other plants from growing healthily and beautifully.
During the time I was fighting for my own life, I was able to learn to put myself first. It’s the only choice I have and it was the choice that formed me into what I am now. Not only that, I was able to learn how to put out negative people that have nothing to do but only give negative remarks that can sting my emotions especially. And also, learning to eliminate toxic people and relationships, I was able to learn how to say “no” easily without having a hard time to say that two-letter word.
2. I put myself first.
Since the time I found out that I had cancer, I played the “cancer card”. and will never allow cancer to control my life. After I claim to myself, “Okay, I have cancer, so what?” If I die, that is maybe where my role in life will end. Claiming my cancer means, I lived my life. I write a journal, to start with. I follow my goals, both short-term and long-term ones. In the end, what did I lose? Nothing. What did I gain? Resilience, perseverance, quality friends and a new life after cancer. #9. Cielo Superticioso @the.cancer.voice
There is always hope no matter how bleak the present moment:
January 2016, Cielo was diagnosed with soft tissue tumor.
February 2016, she had undergone her surgical removal in one of the hospitals in Ho Chi Minh. After the surgery, a 2nd biopsy was done to see the actual tumor taken from her body until the doctor told her, “I’m sorry, you have cancer.” It’s Leiyomyosarcoma, a new word for her and it’s not a common name for cancer. The fact is, sarcoma is indeed rare cancer.
March 2016, she continued her plan to visit Hong Kong despite the fear she cannot do it anymore.
April to June 2016, she went back to the Philippines for her treatment: 6 sessions of acupuncture and 35 days of radiation therapy.
After these extreme highs and lows within this year, I shut the world out so I could open up to myself and deal with my thoughts. I disconnects myself from friends and the rest of the people in my life. So I could make a genuine connection to myself and enjoy my own company. I suddenly found myself taking great care of myself — emotionally, mentally, physically and the foods she needs to eat or not anymore.
December 2016, I decided to host English clubs again; although the beginning is scary. I did it to get on with my life. From that day forward, I started to learn who I really was and loved myself for it.
The Cancer Voice Asia started in August 2017 with my only desire to share my cancer experiences. This campaign aims to make my cancer voice heard in Asia, especially in Vietnam. And so it continues, The Cancer Voice officially launched in 2018, reaching out Vietnamese to strengthen the education of cancer.
The advocacy is to give HOPE to anyone who has cancer around the world and also in Vietnam, whether it could be a child or an adult, by any means. If you see me as a strong woman today, I was the opposite three years ago and even more years before I was diagnosed with cancer. Being strong isn’t always that easy or fun; yet, a great reward is waiting in the long run with a glass of red wine. Cheers!
Questions & Answers: Do you have a favorite quote, mantra or saying that has helped you during your journey?
CS: “We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” — Kenji Miyazawa.
What is the biggest lesson you have learned through this experience?
CS: To be mindful.
What would you like to say to someone going through what you have gone through or are going through?
There is always hope no matter how bleak the present moment you have because of cancer.
What do you do that brings you most comfort and joy?
CS: Helping others.
What motivates you to keep going, smiling, fighting?
CS: I just simply want to live longer.
Any music, movies, books, art that have inspired you during your journey?
CS: I write journals and poems during my healing journey. Shattered Glasses – Poem by Cielo Superticioso
Perfectly Imperfect chords Ada Pasternak