Severe emotional distress is the most neurobehavorial issue among breast cancer patients. Usually occurring through a lost of their mother or after a divorce. A simple questionnaire known as the “Distress Thermometer” has been endorsed by the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) as a way to determine whether emotional distress is significantly affecting your life. Mental illness doesn’t just cause distress to breast cancer patients, it actually impacts physical health, including their mortality risk. Pre-existing mental health conditions can make it harder for a patient to cope after a breast cancer diagnosis, in turn negatively affecting their long-term physical and emotional health.
Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.”
Shame is different from guilt. Shame is a feeling of badness about the self. Guilt is about behavior —
a feeling of “conscience” from having done something wrong or against one’s values. Shame is a learned behavior from when a person was a child, growing up in an environment where shame was taught, sometimes inadvertently, by parents and others in the child’s life. Shame is often used as a tool to change a child’s problematic behaviors. When used sparingly, it may help with reducing those kinds of behaviors. However, when used too much a child learns to internalize shame.
That is, they learn that being shameful is a part of their self-identity. At that point, it becomes far more difficult for the person to just “let go” of shame. Self-destructive behaviors are those things a person does in their life that actually cause harm, whether emotionally, physically, or psychologically. For instance, a person who is ashamed of their low-paying job may drink a lot every evening to try and “forget” their employment status. The next morning, the person isn’t feeling 100 percent, and therefore continues to perform poorly in the job, relegating them to that type of job until they change their behavior. It can be a vicious cycle if not addressed.
Shame underlies self-destructive behaviors:
*Hidden shame often drives self-destructive behaviors and other psychological symptoms
such as rage, avoidance, or addictions.
*Self-destructive behaviors often are an attempt to regulate overpowering, painful feelings
but lead to more shame, propelling the self-destructive cycle.
*Secrecy, silence, and out-of-control behaviors fuel shame.
*Shame makes people want to hide and disappear, reinforcing shame.
*Shame is created in children through scolding, judging, criticizing, abandonment,
sexual and physical abuse.
Breaking the Cycle of Shame
Everyone can break the cycle of shame — even when the odds seem insurmountable.
The first step is recognizing how shame is fueling your self-destructive behaviors and acknowledge the shame. It’s okay to have flaws — we all do, because every one of us is human and deeply flawed.
Breaking self-destructive habits requires action, not just willpower:
*Changing destructive behaviors requires trying out new, affirming behaviors to replace them.
*New behaviors that generate positive feedback and reward create new connections in the brain, creating the momentum for ongoing growth and change.
(Learning on a neurobehavioral level)
Shame can be relieved and healed by:
*Taking healthy risks to be seen and known authentically, acting from a positive motive and trying out new behaviors in a safe (nonjudgmental) setting.
*Taking actions that generate pride — the antidote to shame.
*Breaking secrecy with people who understand.
You can break the cycle. It will take patience and time, but the more you make a conscious
and concerted effort, the more likely you will be able to end the cycle of shame and
self-destructive behavior.
Some people benefit from doing this work in the context of a safe and supportive psychotherapy relationship with a professional therapist. There are many such options available — you can find a therapist if you want to try this for a little additional help.
Decide & Do
Shame can keep us from dealing honestly with an issue and from getting the help we need to resolve the issue. Shame can make a person want to withdraw, or even hide, which only makes matters worse. And then there often comes blame: “It’s his fault that I’m in this situation.” This is known as a victim mentality. The danger in this thinking is that it becomes an excuse to avoid personal responsibility, either for getting into the situation or getting out of the situation.
A “victim” often believes the situation cannot change.
Unchecked shame and blame can become a vicious cycle. This cycle can be triggered
by things as small as minor incidents at home or in the work place, or by major life struggles such as an addiction or a broken relationship. However it begins, the cycle usually continues until something or someone moves us to do a reality check, bringing us face to face with the question, “Where are you?” And we realize that if we remain in that place, it is not because
we are a victim, but because we are choosing to do so.
Perhaps you should set aside some time to ask yourself the following questions.
Or better yet, allow God to ask, “Where are you?” in regard to these questions.
Do I have shame? What is the cause? (Even if it is only minor, most people have experienced shame at some time in life. And if shame exists, the underlying issue is not yet resolved. Something so small as an unkept promise or a little white lie can produce shame.)
Am I withdrawing or avoiding something or someone because of shame?
Am I blaming anyone for anything in my life when I should be accepting responsibility for my own actions? Sometimes people even blame God for a difficult situation (i.e. “This is just my lot in life.”), when in reality God really wants to lead them to a better place.
But when you’re feeling anger, blame or shame, you may fall into an unhealthy addiction ( alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc.) to give you temporary relief from those negative feelings. However, if those substances get in the way of your life, you may feel ever more shame for using them, causing a vicious cycle. Trauma can create deep-rooted feelings of shame that are extraordinarily detrimental to emotional well-being and act as a risk factor for PTSD. This complex relationship between shame and PTSD can create a cycle of shame and distress that disrupts your ability to live a full, stable, and healthy life through a suppress immune system. By working with experienced health professionals to develop self-compassion within a safe, supportive environment, you can heal from shame and unlock your true potential.
SmartNews That’s Keeping You Current
Scientists are still trying to understand the longevity secrets of those most advanced in age:
In 2014, there were 72,197 Americans aged 100 or older, according to a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That number is up 44% from 2000, when there were only 50,281 centenarians. “People are more aware of their health, of the importance of staying active and eating healthy food,” the CDC report’s author, Jiaquan Xu, tells David Beasley for Reuters. The improvements to overall health can be seen in the shifting causes of death among the centenarian set with France and Japan always having the most.
While heart disease, stroke and cancer—leading causes of death for all Americans—
still rank in the top causes for death among centenarians, Alzheimer’s disease has crept up
in the rankings. Deaths from this disease increased 119 percent since 2000. Xu attributes the Alzheimer’s increase to a greater awareness of the disease and therefore more diagnoses, Reuters reports. “There is certainly a wow factor here, that there are this many people in the United States over 100 years old,” William H. Frey, the senior demographer at the Brookings Institution, tells The New York Times. “Not so long ago in our society, this was somewhat rare.” Improvements in vaccines, antibiotics, hygiene and sanitation are all likely to blame for the increased survival to advanced ages.
Malvina Hunt, who lives in the Finger Lakes region of central New York, credits her health to vigorous exercise. “Whatever muscle seems weak, I give it a little bit of touch-up,” Hunt tells The New York Times. Leg lifts and arm raises every morning, supplemented with bowling (“That gives me a good workout”). Her job as a greeter at a local winery also gives her the opportunity to help build the cartons used to ship wine. During the summer she gardens and mows the lawn. She says: “My motto was always, ‘If I could do it today, I’ll be able to do it tomorrow.'”
America’s population of persons aged 90-and-older has almost tripled since 1980, reaching
1.9 million in 2010 and will continue to increase to more than 7.6 million over the next
40 years, according to a new report from the U.S. Census Bureau. If you think government benefit programs like Social Security and Medicare are financially “strained” now, just wait.
In August 2011, the Centers for Disease Control reported that Americans are now living longer and dying less than ever before. As a result, people 90 and over now make up 4.7% of all people 65 and older, as compared with only 2.8% in 1980. By 2050, projects the Census Bureau,
the 90 and over share will reach 10 percent.”
Traditionally, the cutoff age for what is considered the ‘oldest old’ has been age 85,” said Census Bureau demographer Wan He in a press release, “but increasingly people are living longer and the older population itself is getting older. Given its rapid growth, the 90-and-older population merits a closer look.” The Threat to Social Security A “closer look” to say the least. The great threat to the long-term survival of Social Security – the Baby Boomers — drew their very first Social Security check on February 12, 2008.
Over the next 20 years, more than 10,000 Americans a day will become eligible for Social Security benefits. Millions of these Boomers will retire, begin collecting monthly social security checks and go on Medicare. For decades before the Baby Boomers, about 2.5 million babies a year were born in the United States. Starting in 1946, that figure jumped to 3.4 million.
New births peaked from 1957 to 1961 with 4.3 million births a year.
It was that spurt that produced the 76 million Baby Boomers.
In December 2011, the Census Bureau reported that the Baby Boomers had become the fastest-growing segment of the U.S. population. The inconvenient and unavoidable truth is that the longer Americans live, the faster the Social Security system runs out of money. That sad day, unless Congress changes the way Social Security works, is now estimated to come in 2042. The minimum age to begin receiving Social Security retirement benefits is 62. Medicare coverage, which covers about 80 percent of basic healthcare, begins automatically at age 65.
Persons who wait until age 67 to apply for Social Security currently receive about 30 percent higher benefits than those who retire at 62. It pays to wait. So 90 isn’t Necessarily the New 60. According to findings in the Census’ American Community Survey report, 90+ in the United States: 2006-2008, living well into one’s 90s may not necessarily be a decade at the beach. Activists like Maggie Kuhn had been highlighting some of the issues the elderly face before
her death April 22, 1995 at 89 years old.
A majority of people 90 and over live alone or in nursing homes and reported having at least one physical or mental disability. In keeping with long-standing trends, more women than men are living into their 90s, but tend to have higher rates of widowhood, poverty, and disability than women in their eighties. Older Americans’ chances of requiring nursing home care also increase rapidly with advancing age. While only about 1% of people in their upper 60s and 3% in their upper 70s live in nursing homes, the proportion jumps to about 20% for those in their lower 90s, more than 30% for people in their upper 90’s and nearly 40% for persons 100 and over.
Sadly, old age and disability still go hand-in-hand. According to census data, 98.2% of all people in their 90s who lived in a nursing home had a disability and 80.8% of people in their 90s who did not live in a nursing home also had one or more disabilities. Overall, the proportion of people age 90 to 94 having disabilities is more than 13 percentage points higher than that of 85- to 89-year-olds. The most common types of disabilities reported to the Census Bureau included difficulty doing errands alone and performing general mobility-related activities like walking or climbing stairs.
Money Over 90? During 2006-2008, the inflation-adjusted median income of people 90 and over was $14,760, almost half (47.9%) of which came from Social Security. Income from retirement pension plans accounted for another 18.3% of income for persons in their 90s. Overall, 92.3% of people 90 and older received Social Security benefit income. In 2006-2008, 14.5% of people 90 and older reported living in poverty, compared to only 9.6% of people 65-89 years old.
Almost all (99.5%) of all people 90 and older had health insurance coverage, mainly Medicare. Far More Surviving Women Over 90 than Men According to 90+ in the United States: 2006-2008, women surviving into their 90s outnumber men by a ratio of almost three to one. For every 100 women between ages 90 to 94, there were only 38 men. For every 100 women ages 95 to 99, the number of men dropped to 26, and for every 100 women 100 and older, only 24 men.
Half of men 90 and older lived in a household with family members and/or unrelated individuals, less than one-third lived alone, and about 15% were in an institutionalized living arrangement such as a nursing home. In contrast, less than one-third of women in this age group lived in a household with family members and/or unrelated individuals, four in 10 lived alone, and another 25% were in institutionalized living arrangements.
As I age I crave to learn the mysteries of Life: Does God Exist?—Many Absolute Proofs! (Part 1) I also want to learn about DNA as evidence for the infinite God, the basics of genetics and natural selection as they relate to biblical “kinds,” and the origin of so-called life on this planet.